The stages of grief after losing a pet are denial or shock, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance, plus a seventh stage: making meaning. They rarely happen in order, and after 15+ years with a pet, moving through any of the stages can feel like an impossible task. I’m Paige Rechtman, a licensed therapist (and bereaved pet parent). Here’s what I learned about the stages after losing my cat, and how to move through each one.
If you’re a pet parent, you know the worst part about having a pet it isn’t cleaning up their poop. Or the torn-up furniture. It isn’t even the expensive vet bills.
It’s the fact that one day, you will have to say goodbye.
Your pet is going to get old (if you’re lucky). And eventually, their body will no longer be able to house their beautiful soul.
We never get enough time with our pets. Even if they lived a long and happy life.
Back in June, I was finally forced to say goodbye to my best friend. My soul-creature. My perfect, one-of-a-kind cat, Squiggles. For the past few months, I have been slowly moving through the stages of grief after losing her.
And it’s really, really hard.
My special bond with Squiggles
I’ve had Squiggles since the day she was born. Our other cat, Flopsy, gave birth to her when I was just 16-years-old, which was almost 22 years ago.
And boy did she live her 9 lives to the fullest! She lived in 3 different states, got lost in the wilderness for a whole week, and traveled cross-country with me for 4+ months during Covid.
The bond she and I shared, without a doubt, is one of the most meaningful I will ever have in my life.
She could communicate her needs to me with a single look on her face, and would even lick the tears from my eyes when I was crying.
And for the past 15+ years, I have been *trying* to prepare myself for the reality that one day, Squiggles would die.
And that I would somehow have to continue on without her.
Why Grieving a Pet Is So Hard
When you lose a pet, especially one that you’ve had for a long time, you might face unique challenges around your grief.
Even though you’re going through painstaking sadness, it might seem like your friends aren’t checking in. Or don’t know what to say.
Everyone seems to forget that your life has been forever changed. Which may cause you to feel like you should move on quickly, or not be as sad as you are.
The sadness you feel about losing your pet is valid. There is nothing wrong with you.
A recent study found that when a pet dies, society doesn’t deem it as serious as when a human dies. This lack of validation can cause you to have unresolved feelings about your pet’s death. Which can lead to disenfranchised grief – having nowhere to put your feelings after a loss.
But losing a pet is one of the most devastating life events one can go through. Especially if the loss was sudden, traumatic, or drawn out.
And even if your pet lived a good life, when the time comes to let them go, it can feel like an impossible pill to swallow. Here’s why.
1. Your Pet Is Your Family
Even though your pet is an animal, one fact remains: your pet is also part of your family.
And for some pet-lovers, the bond you create feels like even more; a pet might feel like part of your identity. Or even like an extension of your soul.
So when a pet dies, you don’t just lose an animal.
You lose a cherished loved one. You lose a piece of yourself.
Acknowledging the depth of your bond and validating how you feel is essential to healing. And being around others who “get it” will help too.
2. You Lose One Of Your Greatest Sources of Comfort
Your pet provides more than companionship – they can become a major source of comfort and help you relieve stress. So when the one thing you would turn to when you’re feeling sad is no longer there, it may seem impossible to find relief. You can feel more isolated and alone than ever.
Remembering your pet, or looking at photos and videos may feel really hard at first, and unleash a floodgate of tears. There is nothing wrong with releasing your emotions when and if this happens, and can actually benefit you.
Eventually remembering your pet in this way can provide the comfort you’re seeking when longing for your pet.
And, talking to others about them can also ease some of your pain and help you feel less alone.
3. Your Pet Is A Part Of Your Daily Routine
Typically, you spend more time with your pet than anyone else. When that presence is gone from your life, it completely disrupts your routine and makes you feel like you have no reason to get up in the morning.
Now that many of us work more hours from home, we have grown an even deeper attachment to our pets, because they are with us all day long.
If your pet was always by your side, you may automatically turn to talk to them, forgetting that they are gone. You are constantly reminded of the loss, from the time you wake up until you fall asleep. And perhaps in your dreams too.
Give yourself time to get used to your new routine without them there. And have compassion for yourself as you move through your new normal.
4. Your Pet Loves You Unconditionally
The bond and connection that you create with your pet is rare and unique. Relationships with humans come with more complications, more drama, deep insecurities and fears of what others may think.
With a pet, you can be completely who you are, and they will love you no matter what.
And even though your pet can’t quite communicate their feelings with words, you know in your heart how much they love you.
Stages of Grief After Losing A Pet
Grief is something you can try to understand logically, but you have to let yourself experience it to get through it.
What this means is, you can’t skip over your emotional pain. Or bury it forever. Try to let yourself be with it.
Easier said than done, right?
There really isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve. But understanding the different stages of grief after losing a pet, and pinpointing which stage you might be in at any given moment, offers some space for your feelings.
The Stages of Grief After Losing a Pet (Quick Overview)
The stages of grief after losing a pet are denial/shock, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance — plus a bonus stage, making meaning. Grief isn’t linear, so you may move through them out of order, revisit ones you thought you’d passed, or feel several at once. There’s no set timeline and no wrong way to grieve.
- Denial / Shock — it feels unreal; you may be numb, foggy, or unable to cry at first.
- Bargaining — pleading with or making promises to a higher power to bring them back.
- Guilt — especially around euthanasia, accidents, or for letting yourself have fun again.
- Anger — at yourself, your vet, loved ones, even your pet for leaving.
- Depression — the longest, heaviest stage, as the reality settles in.
- Acceptance — not “being over it,” but adjusting to a life that’s forever changed.
- Making meaning — channeling the loss by honoring your pet — through art, a memorial, fostering, helping others.
Grief is something you can try to understand logically, but you have to let yourself experience it to get through it.
What this means is, you can’t skip over your emotional pain. Or bury it forever. Try to let yourself be with it.
Easier said than done, right?
There really isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve. But understanding the different stages of grief after losing a pet, and pinpointing which stage you might be in at any given moment, offers some space for your feelings.
Denial/Shock (“I still call out their name.”)
This is what many experience as the first stage of grief after a pet dies. It feels like what is happening is completely unreal.
You may not be able to cry or feel sad because you are so in shock. You may have moments where you reach out to touch them, then suddenly remember they are no longer around.
It may feel impossible to focus, to sleep, to wake up, or be around others.
You may feel like you’re in a haze.
These symptoms may feel even stronger if you witnessed the death of your pet, or it was traumatic.
Typically this stage of grief will not last more than a few days. But remember, it might come and go in waves for months after your pet is gone.
Bargaining (“I just want them back.”)
The bargaining stage of grief is a period when you try to make promises to a higher power in exchange for helping your pet survive. Or you find yourself begging for relief from the pain.
For someone who may have a terminally ill pet, or a pet that has gone missing, the bargaining stage can be quite significant.
Even though you know in your heart that it is their time to go, you may still find yourself pleading to a higher power for help. Or keep wishing that you could do something to save them.
Guilt (“I should have done better sooner.”)
One of the more unique stages of grief for someone who has lost a pet is guilt.
Oftentimes as a pet-owner, you have to be the one who decides when it is time to say goodbye. When you have to choose euthanasia to end your pet’s suffering (like I did for Squiggles), it can leave you feeling ridden with guilt, even when you know it’s the best option.
Guilt can also show up in moments when you notice you are feeling happy again. Or forget about your pet for a few hours. Or get through the day without crying.
This doesn’t mean that you are over the loss, or don’t love your pet – it just means that you’re human, and doing the best you can to get through your grief.
Anger (“There’s nothing I can do to bring them back.”)
When anger bubbles up after loss, you might direct it towards anyone – yourself, your vet, your loved ones, even your pet for leaving you. Sometimes you might feel angry or irritable and you don’t know why.
You have a right to feel angry when you pet dies – it totally sucks! It’s the worst thing ever.
You might be angry about how it happened. Or that you have to try and go to sleep without them laying by your side. And angry about having to get through each day without them there to comfort you.
After Squiggles died, I became much more irritable in my day-to-day. Recognizing that this is a part of the stages of grief helped me have more compassion and understanding for myself and explain to others why I was getting so easily frustrated (“it’s not you – it’s Squiggles”).
Oftentimes, anger is just empowered sadness. Which is why it is such an important emotion to feel during your grieving process. It can help you express the depth of your pain. Because eventually that anger will lead to the most challenging stage of grief to process.
Depression (“I’m never going to be happy without them.”)
The depression stage of grief is when the reality of the loss starts to settle in. And the sadness you feel about your pet being gone starts to hit.
You may be very tearful, and desperately miss your pet. You may also start to think that you’re never going to feel better, and that you’re alone in your pain.
It’s common for symptoms of depression to show up during this phase, like having trouble sleeping or sleeping all day, changes in appetite, having low energy, inability to focus, or trouble finding pleasure in activities that used to interest you. You may feel more withdrawn and isolated than usual.
This stage of grief is typically the most painful, and happens to be the longest.
During this phase, it is okay to let yourself feel your emotions. Never think that you should be over the loss by a certain time. Or that you should not feel as sad as you do.
Let yourself cry. It’s okay to still miss your pet. It’s okay to give yourself as much time as you need.
You may not feel like being around people, but having support from someone you trust and can lean on during this stage will help.
And if you currently don’t have someone to turn to for emotional support, I recommend going to therapy to process your emotions.
Acceptance (“I will always miss them.”)
Acceptance doesn’t mean that your grief journey is over; it’s accepting the fact that your life is forever changed.
You may be resistant to move through this phase of grief after losing a pet. You might be afraid that your memories will start to fade – like you’ll forget the sound of their meow. Or the softness of their fur. Or the pitter-patter of their paws.
You might worry that if you accept the loss, it means you aren’t as sad anymore. And that being less sad somehow equates to the love fading. This simply isn’t true.
The acceptance stage of grief is about honoring your pet and having gratitude for all the love you shared.
At the same time, you’re getting used to the “new normal.” And trying your best to live your life the way they would want you to.
Remember, acceptance isn’t an end goal to reach, it’s a continual practice. Some days it may feel like you’re at peace.
But if months later you find yourself sobbing on the couch looking at photos of your pet, barely able to catch your breath (like me 🙋♀️, hi!), that’s okay too.
The Bonus Stage of Grief After Losing A Pet: Making Meaning
As you move through the stages of grief after losing a pet, you may also gain new perspectives on life. And eventually, turn your profound grief into an opportunity for transformation and deeper meaning.
Making meaning takes acceptance a bit further. It’s a phase where you are able to integrate the loss into your life in a way that inspires positive change, connection, and hope.
You can do this by channeling your grief into art, and putting something up in your home to remember your pet. Or planting a tree in your backyard to honor their memory. If you aren’t ready for another pet yet, you can try fostering animals as a way to give back.
I’m currently fostering cats because I love having the feline energy in my home. But I know I’m not ready for another cat to call my own yet, and that’s okay. It still feels good to know I’m helping other animals while they are looking for their forever homes.
If you happen to live in the NYC area, this is the organization I foster with: Brooklyn Animal Action. And if you’re in a different place, some good ole’ googling can help you find an organization to foster with.
When you are able to make meaning out of the loss of your pet, you are able to find a deeper sense of inner peace. And eventually allow the joyous moments to outweigh the sorrow.
How to Grieve a Pet: Other Things To Remember
Grief is Non-Linear
Many people think you move through the stages of grief in order. And that you can check off each stage once you’ve gone through it. This isn’t always true.
It is common to jump from one stage of grief to another without any rhyme or reason. You may go from feeling depressed, back to being in denial. Then thinking you’ve reached acceptance, right before you fall back into depression all over again.
You may also feel like you’re in more than one phase of grief at once. That too, is normal.
Grief is Highly Personal
Although these stages can help you pinpoint where you’re at, some days, they may not resonate. That’s okay. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Maybe you have a family member who seems like they’ve already moved on and you haven’t. Or maybe you want to talk about your pet and they are not ready. You are both valid. You can experience your grief in different ways.
Grief Is Unexpressed Love
Taking time to grieve the loss of a cherished pet is a natural process. And it is likely that you’ll miss your pet for the rest of your life. This is a difficult thing, but it is not a bad thing!
Missing your pet is a reminder of how much they meant to you. And the grief is so painful because it’s the unexpressed love you still have, and will always feel for them.
Over time, that pain and that grief does become more manageable. I find this box and ball analogy to be an incredibly helpful visualization to understand how.
And if you are grieving your pet-best-friend, I am so very sorry for your loss.
I know that it is impossibly hard.
I have no doubt in my mind that your pet was so grateful to be yours.
They knew, without a doubt, how much you loved them.
Take good care of yourself during this time.
If this article resonated with you, please like and share it below.
And if you’re feeling open to it, I invite you to share your pet’s name in the comments, and any happy memory or story you experienced together. <3
Grieving Pet Owners Also Ask:
What are the stages of grief after losing a pet?
There are seven main stages: denial/shock, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, acceptance, and oftentimes a bonus stage — making meaning. Guilt is especially common for pet parents who had to choose euthanasia. Grief isn’t linear, so you may experience them out of order, feel more than one at once, or skip a few.
How long does grief last after losing a pet?
There’s no set timeline, and a lot depends on how your pet died, your bond with your pet, and other types of support and meaning in your daily life. Early shock often lasts a few days but can return in waves for months. Research shows that acute grief for most pet parents eases up by the year mark, but it can be longer or shorter. I have found in my work with bereaved pet parents that for many individuals, the 6-month mark is unexpectedly difficult. It’s normal to miss your pet for the rest of your life; grief simply becomes more manageable over time. You should never feel you have to “be over it” by a certain point.
Why does losing a pet hurt so much, sometimes more than losing a person?
Because your pet is one of your greatest sources of comfort, woven into your daily routine, and they love you unconditionally, without the complications human relationships carry. Society often doesn’t validate this loss (“it was just a pet”), which can lead to disenfranchised grief and shame for being so deeply impacted by the loss. The depth of your bond was real and valid, and there is nothing wrong with missing them immensely after they die.
Is it normal to feel guilty after putting your pet down?
Yes. Having to decide when it’s time to end their suffering is one of the hardest parts of loving a pet, and guilt is one of the most common and difficult stages of pet grief to move through. Guilt can also surface when you catch yourself feeling happy again or getting through a day without crying. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong; it means you’re human just trying to survive and you loved them.
What is the hardest stage of pet loss?
For most people, guilt is the hardest stage to move through. Because you’re often the one who has to make the impossible decision to end your pet’s suffering which leaves you distraught, wondering if you did enough, what they were thinking, if they knew how much you loved them, etc. You can start to release guilt by remembering your relationship with your pet over the course of their life – not just in their final days or moments of pain. If you’re not sure where to begin, try starting with my digital journal, Furever In My Heart: A Year of Remembering.
Is it normal to still grieve my pet months or even years later?
Completely. Acceptance isn’t a finish line, it’s an ongoing practice. Some days feel peaceful; other days, months later, you might find yourself sobbing over a photo, barely able to catch your breath. Both are normal. Missing them does not mean anything is wrong with you – it’s just a reflection of the love that was shared.
How do you cope with the loss of a pet?
Let yourself feel it rather than rushing past it, lean on people who understand, and be patient with yourself. Many people find comfort in remembering their pet and in making meaning from the loss. If you don’t know where to start, check out my pet loss resources, download my free self-care guide, or get in touch to start pet grief coaching.
How can I honor or remember my pet after they die?
There’s no single way, and many people find comfort in creating a place, like a memorial shelf or garden, to display photos, their ashes, favorite toys, etc. You can plant a tree, foster animals in their honor, or keep a written record of your favorite memories. For more ideas, check out this article on how to honor your pet on Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day.
I have no doubt in my mind that your pet was so grateful to be yours.
They knew, without a doubt, how much you loved them.
If you’re looking for tangible ways to cope with this loss, download my free guide, Coping With Pet Loss: A Self-Care Guide, and check out my pet loss resources.
And if you’re looking for more support, my community for bereaved pet parents, the Furever Forest will help you feel less alone and find healthy ways to process your grief and remember your pet, furever.
If this article resonated with you, please like and share it below.
And if you’re feeling open to it, I invite you to share your pet’s name in the comments below, and any happy memory or story you experienced together. <3
Related Categories: Pet Loss Support
202 Responses
I lost my beloved cat Poppy after almost 19 years together on 24/10/24 through cancer. She also had CKD and high blood pressure which made her blind 2 weeks before she died. Fortunately due to swift veterinary care she got her sight back after 2 days allowing her to enjoy the garden, smell the flowers and see the birds. A part of me died that day with
her. The physical and emotional pain is unbearable and I feel I will never feel true happiness again. I loved her with all my heart and it is only another pet lover who would understand. Thank you for your website, it is such a support and help for me to journey through and understand these difficult times. Thank you.
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your Poppy. What a beautiful vision – enjoying the garden, flowers and birds. I understand it is so unbearable to say goodbye. My heart goes out to you during this time. <3 May the memories you shared with Poppy remain in your heart, always.
thank you for having this website which helped me realize that my grief and loneliness were not alone. last week I had to euthanize my dachshund Merrick who was my best friend for 17 years. Last year due to cardiac arrest he had to take several medications which eventually led to kidney issues. After his heart attack we thought he would only survive for 6 months. I was very grateful that we were together for one more year. will meet merrick again when I cross the Rainbow Bridge.
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Merrick. It’s so very hard to say goodbye to a pet that has been with you for so long. I’m sending big hugs your way as you grieve this loss. <3
We had to put our sweet Pomeranian down Oct 17, exactly 2 weeks shy of her 15th birthday. For years I imagined taking weeks off from work. She is the closest thing to a daughter my husband and I will ever have. She truly was my world and I miss her so bad. The pain feels unbearable at times. The house feels so lonely and quiet and empty without her presence. Rather than take time off I immersed myself into working nonstop. I’m afraid all I’ve really done is put off grieving. I find myself sobbing in the mornings and evenings, the times when Banna and I would share such special moments x I tried to do some holiday decorating yesterday and completely fell apart. Every ornament picked for 15 yrs is a special reminder of her. I can’t stand trying to get through the days without her. I know it was time for her to leave from a physical sense – her body couldnt fight any more. I just miss her so much. I do t know how it gets any easier.
Sarah, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing a pet that means the world to you and is like your own child is so incredibly difficult. Take all the time in the world that you need to grieve – this is still so fresh. If you’re afraid you’re putting off your grieving and don’t know what to do to process, you’re welcome to join our pet loss community, The Furever Forest. We have a workshop this Wednesday to help prepare for the holidays. <3 Sending you big hugs during this difficult time.
I lost my little bob yesterday,he was a rescued shit zhu and i had him 14 years,he has been suffering from age related health problems for a good few months and was having injections to help with arthritis.Yesterday he went for a groom,wanted him to feel fresh and lovely,ascleaning himself had become difficult,the groomer rang in panic,come quick,bobs in abad way,i got there in 5 minutes,but it was too late,he had collapsed and died,must of been a heart attack,i cant help thinking if i hadnt of taken him he w still be here with me today,i was dreading making the decision to have him put to sleep,but my beautiful boy decided he was tired now and needed to go,i cant stop crying,ill miss him everyday,sleep tight Bob you are so loved xx
Oh goodness – I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your little Bob. My heart breaks for you. I wish I had words of comfort – I can tell from the way you speak of Bob how loved he was, and I am certain he knew it. Sending you healing prayers and light during this extremely difficult time. I know it isn’t easy. <3
We lost McGregor our 15 year old orange tabby 2 days ago. McGregor, or McG, was his nickname, was my loyal friend (and my partners’) with the biggest heart. He was a curious chatterbox and gave the best cuddles.
It was a hard few weeks/months/year as he had cancer. I can’t stop thinking about what more we could have done for him, or discovered it sooner, or noticed the decline more to prepare myself. I was dreading that first morning in our quiet home.
I was thinking about why this hurts so much. I think it’s because they make our hearts bigger. They give us so much loyalty and love every day. There’s nothing like it. They accept us for who were really are. That huge part of your heart they occupied, goes with them.
I didn’t want to write a comment because leaving a note here, especially so soon, made it real, that our McG is really gone. But I read so many comments of other grieving parents and felt a brief comfort in reading stories about other loyal friends, and knowing I’m not the only one who feels this.
Thank you.
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved McGregor. Cancer is the absolute worst. It hurts SOOOOO much. Nothing can prepare you to say goodbye to a creature that loves and accepts you so wholeheartedly. I’m sending healing prayers your way as you grieve. <3 Thank you for sharing too - it does take a lot of courage, I know.
Thank you Paige for your helpful kind article. We lost our dear feline friend Ginger last Saturday to a fox attack. He was 18 and had been with us for 14 years through thick and thin. It’s hard to express how my wife and I feel. It’s been a very bad week full of shock, grief and guilt that we couldn’t save him. One day we hope we’ll see him again…
I am so very sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your beloved Ginger. My heart breaks for you during this devastating time. I wish I had words of comfort – just know I’m sending healing prayers to you and your wife. You’re right – it is hard to describe those first few weeks and months, and when you lose a pet unexpectedly, it adds another layer of pain to the grief. I do believe that one day we will all be reunited with the souls of our loving pets. I’m sending big hugs your way as you grieve. <3
I came across this page tonight and I can’t tell you how your story and the testimonials from others has helped. I tragically lost my beautiful Benny boy yesterday morning. He was a 9 year old golden mix and truly the love of my life ( my husband already knows this). I’ve lost grandparents, in-laws and my own father and even a previous dog, but this feels so different. I came home from work Friday to a normal healthy dog. Saturday morning I woke up and he wouldn’t eat his treat (he got one every morning after his teeth brushing). We knew something was up.
He was not himself. Because it was Saturday we called a new emergency vet who saw him at 2pm. At this point he was walking , breathing normal but just lethargic and not eating and drinking. The vet did ultrasound and checked him over and couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary. He gave him a shot of anti nausea medication and said if there’s no improvement in 24 hours bring him back. I made him chicken and rice and nothing. He did drink a little but was very lethargic. We had hoped that when he woke Sunday morning he would be better. We were awakened around 430/5 am with heavy panting . The emergency vet we had taken him too wasn’t going to be open until 11. So we found a clinic an hour away that opened at 7. He was laying on the couch with me with laboured rapid breathing and there was nothing we could do. Finally at 7 we called them and they told us to bring him in. By the time we got dressed and got him in the car, he was not able to walk. He died 3 houses from our driveway. I called the local vet and he said he would meet us, so we had to sit with him for what seemed like eternity.
I wish we had just drove the hour before it opened and waited in the parking lot. Maybe he’d still be here. I’m so heartbroken.
I am so very sorry about the loss of your Benny boy Joanne. I understand why your heart is broken. What happened is so shocking and unexpected, that can add another level of pain to the grief. Please know, Benny knew how loved he was (and still is). Try to be gentle with yourself during this time – you did everything you could to try and help him. I’m sending you healing prayers as you move through this devastating loss. I know it isn’t easy. <3
I just lost my very healthy 13 years old cat who was my entire life two days ago suddenly. I opened the door and found him lying on the floor motionless. dr said it was a heart attack and expected with his age.
I can’t breathe or talk the picture of him lying on the floor while I was watching a stupid movie and enjoying my time.
I really dont know how to survive the day I feel numb . I sleep all the time to hopefully wake up from dream and call his name. but no answer.
im really struggling I don’t know what to do he was my entire life i need help i cant face it or face life. in too scared of everything
This is so devastating. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Losing a pet so unexpectedly like that is simply awful. I wish I had words of comfort. This just happened – it makes sense that you’re feeling the way you do. There is stuff out there to help – including my free facebook group or online community. I invite you to join either. I’m sending healing light your way during this time.
Lost my Frank today. Heart is in shreds. My beautiful old gent has left me behind in a huge empty sorrow. He’s everywhere and nowhere.
So sorry Anne. I saw you joined our FB community. I know how difficult it is to go through that you’re in right now. Just know I see your pain and you’re allowed to have it. The pain is also the love, just in a new form. <3
I lost my Jada yesterday (16 year old Springer/Cocker cross dog). I loved her to pieces but man, has this grief hit me like a brick wall. I am missing her so much. I’ve never experienced this level of grief before, it is overwhelming. I keep thinking I hear her or see her. I think her being a part of my life and routine for 16 years is going to make this really difficult. What have others done to help them get through this tough period? I know there is a cure for heartbreak but I am so grief stricken I don’t even know if I will be able to function at work tomorrow. To my Jada, I love you and will ever forget you…never.
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Jada. <3
31.12.24 I lost my best friend – My Love (Jack Russell Terrier)
Just the day before he was cheerful and alert, we went for a walk together, I stroked him before going to bed and on that unfortunate day in the evening he became ill. He had a seizure and I took him to the veterinary clinic where I held him in my arms for the last time and he was taken to the intensive care unit where his heart stopped before the doctors could diagnose his condition. It was heartbreaking, very hard on my soul as if there was a huge hole in my heart that I have to fill with something but I can’t….
It’s very hard for me to accept this fact and I really don’t know how to live with it…. We’ve been together since we were kids and he’s been with me for 11 years. I loved him madly.
That day I was ready to give everything in the world just to help him and keep him alive….
Now it’s very hard to be at home, I turn around every time I see him, but he’s nowhere to be found and it’s so devastating. It’s very hard for me, it was my first dog and I’ve dreamed of having a dog since I was a little girl and when he came into my life I be so happier.
And now the house is so empty and sad.
I miss him so much…I don’t know what to do…..
It’s quite late and I’m very depressed, I came across this article by chance and it helped me calm down a bit, but it’s still very, very hard on my soul.
there is one song that reminds me of him, I don’t know why, but every time I listen to it I always think of my favorite little dog – What i wouldn’t do – serena ryder. I listened to it before he died, but now listening to it makes me want to cry my eyes out.
I am so very sorry to hear abou tyour loss. It makes sense that you feel the way you do. I’ll listen to that song – thank you for sharing. <3
My dogs name was Leeloo, she was five years old, had just had babies on the streets where she’d lived all her life. She’d been taken to a kill shelter, nobody wanted her bc she was “old” and ugly (she was a chihuahua pug so not the most aesthetic dog) but we adopted her and she was with us for another 11years. The best way to describe her is she was a small sun, made of love and sugar. She was so sweet and i gave her so much love. When I was sad I’d just life her up and lay her down next to me, and she’d just go back to snoring. She used to snore in my room, and I take a while to go to sleep but I could always feel her there with me. Her absence hurts so much, I don’t know where to put all the love I have for her, I don’t know what to do with all of it. And im scared that if I start to miss her less it means im losing am the love she gave me and all the love i had for her
I’m so very sorry for your loss Daniela. I understand the pain you must be in right now. I know that feeling – not knowing where to put all that love once they’re gone. I invite you to join my private community for bereaved pet parents, the Furever Forest. It’s a safe space to express that love and continue to cherish it furever. I’m sending big hugs your way during this time of grief. <3
On Jan 6th, 2025, I had to say goodbye to my beloved senior cat of 18 years, Felix, my loyal companion through life’s hardest and happiest moments. He was more than just a pet—he was my best friend, my constant source of comfort, and a reminder of unconditional love. I honestly feel lost, like a huge hole is in my heart where my boy use to be, at times I think I catch a glimpse of him walking by, or hear his faint meow. I wish this pain can be switched off, it’s such an excruciating pain.
My heart is heavy, but I’m forever grateful for the joy and memories he brought into my life. Rest easy, my sweet boy—you’ll always be with me. My Felix, my “gordito” 3/9/06-1/6/25 ❤️
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Felix. I’m sending big hugs to you as you grieve. <3
I lost my Gracie yesterday afternoon. She was my 15 year old cat and best friend. I pretty much knew when we went to the vet yesterday that we were going to have to say our goodbyes. It turned out to be severe kidney failure due to her age. My heart is breaking today as I wander through the house.
Gracie came into my life and picked me. I went to get one of her litter mates. Somehow all the kittens were hiding at this lady’s house and she couldn’t find the one we had discussed over the phone. While she was looking for them, one lone kitten came up to me and jumped into the chair beside me and put her little paws on my arm. The lady came back and apologized for not being able to find the kitten. I looked at her and said, “If this one isn’t already claimed, I think she has chosen me and I would like to take her home.” That’s how our life together started. She chose me.
She helped me through some tough times when it was just the two of us. A couple of lonely Christmas’, failed relationships, illnesses, etc…. And if I cried, she licked my tears away. Even when I realized she was sick, I was talking to her and telling her that if it was time, she had to let me know. As I cried laying beside her on my pillow crying and and wondering how I could find the courage to do the right thing if it was her time, she was comforting me and licking my tears away.
Yesterday morning I think she knew it was time somehow. She got into my arms 3 different times and would just look into my eyes and then take her paw and stroke my cheek. She was definitely my cat and she had a unique relationship with my husband. Sometimes it appeared that they tolerated each other, yet deep down I know they each loved the other one. She let him pet her and love on her while we waited for the lab results. I think that was her way of telling me bye.
I didn’t go to work today. I don’t think I could have concentrated. And the tears are flowing today. It is so empty without her. I picked up her stuff where she ate when we came home last night. My husband picked up and dismantled the litter box area. That’s the hardest part for me to look at, her litter box area in the bathroom.
Gracie wasn’t just my cat, she was my confidant and best friend. I already miss her sleeping on my head and that soft paw on my cheek. I truly feel sick today!
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Gracie. It’s so true – the cat chooses the owner! It sounds like you two were truly meant to be, and that you gave her the best life, full of love. Sending hugs your way as you grieve. <3
I said sweet dreams to my best friend, Bells, last weekend. I always referred to her as my soulmate, so your words sat deeply with me. We experienced so much life together in 15 years, and I knew I would mourn her deeply, but this heartbreak is indescribable. She wasn’t just a cat, she was my teenage daughter. It was just the two of us for so long until we built a beautiful family together. Thank you for validating my greif and offering a space for us.
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Bells. What a beautiful family you formed with her! Sending hugs as you grieve.. I know it isn’t easy to be without your best friend and soulmate. <3
I lost my soul dog, Rocky, Sunday January 12th. I had him since he was 2 weeks old and he grew up to almost 17 years old. Saying I’m sad and it hurts is an understatement. There’s this pressure in my chest and each day still feels like the first- heavy. My dad surprised me with a new dog but it’s not the same and I feel I’m unable to love and bond with him at all. The love rocky and I shared is so unique. I promise it’s not an exaggeration, he was like my shadow. He followed my every siNile footstep even if I moved from the kitchen table to the couch (which was only like 10 footsteps apart). I’m having trouble readjusting my life without him presence. I went out a few days ago and it felt so strange to not be home by a certain time to feed and walk him. It was hard to swallow when I realized I no longer need to be home by a certain time. And I’m so mad for some reason because nothing is helping me. All I crave is to touch his fur (which I’ve already forgotten what it feels like) and all I wish to do is sleep literally asking God to let me see him in my dreams. I’m debated and angry that people don’t realize how hard this is. Life simply goes on but I’m stuck on that one Sunday my life changed forever.
Wow – what a long time to be with your soul dog, yet I know, it’s never enough time. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Rocky. I’m sending hugs your way during this difficult time – be gentle with yourself, it takes a long time to adjust. I’m certain you gave him the best life ever. <3
It has been 3 days since I had to make the difficult decision to put down my best friend Sam. He was a 17-year-old Maltese that my wife and I got after we got married. He was 4 months old when we got him. I always tell people that I didn’t pick him he picked me. From the moment he saw me there was this instant bond. He would play fight with me, always wanted to sit right next to me. His favorite spot to sit was on my shoulders behind my neck and be used as a pillow. At night he would curl up in a ball and sleep right in between my legs, because he knew that was a safe spot because I didn’t move while I slept but my wife did. I don’t know if I didn’t move while sleeping because it’s something I don’t do or something I didn’t do because he was there. I would wake up and see him sprawled out legs in the air on his back sleeping away. He would meet me every day at the door for 15yrs. He watched over both my boys and formed an amazing. He loved chasing squirls and bunnies in the yard as well as sitting out in the grass on a sunny day. He loved food. His two favorite things to eat were a nice leafy salad, and rice and chicken curry. 3 days before his last day I gave him some chicken curry and rice and once he smelled it he got up and ate it all. His other meals we had to help him to his bowl.
2 years ago Sam got a bacterial infection on his skin that it took a year and a half to figure out what it was and treat it. Not till we changed vets did we find out he had cushing’s syndrome. That bacterial infection on his skin took a year of his life he stopped doing all the things he loved he started to pull away from us he stopped barking. 6 months ago we started treatment for it and his skin cleared up and he got his bark back. I thought things would turn around, but it just declined. He slowly lost his ability to walk, and was disoriented often, he had seizures that left him dazed and confused. I watched him try to walk and he would just fall over. I couldn’t give him a bath or cut his hair due to the fear that it might stress him and cause a seizure. I didn’t notice how skinny he had gotten. And so on Feb 11 2025 after 17 years I lost my best friend. Honestly, I feel I lost him 2 years ago when he pulled away. Maybe in his dog mind he knew how hard it would be and tried to put distance between us to make it easier on me, but it didn’t matter you were my best friend didn’t matter if we didn’t do the same things anymore. You were mind and I was yours. There is a quote I found by Camille Marcotte that reads “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you; but instead, I am deeply honored knowing you spent the rest of your life with me.”
Sam You will be deeply missed and forever leave a whole in my heart until we are reunited again.
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your best friend, Sam. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time of grief. Yes, I do believe you will be reunited again. <3
I just lost my little chihuahua Bugsy on 2/16/25. He was 18 years old and would have turned 19 on 2/28. I’m just feeling so lost and wake up not knowing what to do with myself. My whole day revolved around my little boy. I don’t have have many friends and I considered him my best friend. My house just feels empty and I miss hearing his little feet puttering on the floor following behind me, always looking to be by my side. He quit eating kibble years ago so I would make him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He went everywhere with me and had a little dog stroller that I would push him in when we would leave the house. He was perfectly fine one day running around barking and playing, then the next day he couldn’t move out of one spot. We rushed him to the vet where they told me he was in kidney and liver failure, and that he had a UTI. I’m feeling extremely guiltily, like did the UTI cause the kidney failure?? Did I somehow miss the symptoms? I prayed and bargained just like you said, and begged for more time with him. I’ve been a little preoccupied with some things going on in my life, and I keep thinking, did I hold him enough, did I kiss him enough, did he know that I loved him. Some people don’t understand that he was more than a pet to me. He was my best friend, who knew when I was sad or stressed. If I cried he would also lick my tears.
He created such a social environment for me. When we would go on our walks, all the neighbors would stop to say hello to him, and we would do our rounds to say hello to everyone. His passing has made me realize that our time here on earth is so precious and not to take anything for granted. I have my moments of peace then I’ll just burst out into tears. I feel life my life has been turned upside down.
We went to Mexico in 2006 and got a flat tire. When we pulled into a tire shop this man came walking out with this tiny dog with huge ears. He sold him to us for 50$ and we brought him back to the states. This dog has also traveled the states with me and i will miss him for forever. Sometimes I lose it because I’m scared that I’ll forget him. Forget how he sounded or smelled, or how he felt when he laid in my arms.
Wow – almost 19 years. Although that’s quite the run, I know it’s never enough time. And when your pet has been a part of your life for so long it is SO HARD to say goodbye. I’m sending prayers for peace your way during this difficult time. I’m so very sorry.
I lost my 20 year old cat, Kitty yesterday February 22, 2025. I was on vacation when she had a stroke and took the first flight back in hopes to be there for her. She hung on until I made it home. Spent one last night with her and had to put her down the next morning. I was to babysit her over the summer during college and her owners didn’t want her back. She was there through many hearbreaks, moves, and challenging times in my life. I’ve never been so devastated and I just don’t know how I’ll ever get through this. I never had any children of my own and she was my baby, my everything. Funny and demanding and sweet and cuddly. I’m not sure how to get through anything without kitty. Not having her here now is unbearable. I’ve never loved another being as much as I love Kitty.
This is so hard. I’m SO very sorry for your loss. I understand how much pain you’re in right now. Kitty was (and is) so loved. <3 Sending healing prayers your way during this difficult time.
I just had to let my best cat buddy Skye go yesterday (Tuesday, 2/25/2025). We learned last July that he had CKD, and we were able to manage it with medication and fluid therapy for seven months. I gave him meds twice a day, and about 50mL of LRS every other day, and then recently, every day. He then started peeing outside the litter box last week and I noticed it had blood in it. I took him to the vet the next day (they knew my phone number by this point, we’d been there so many times), and we did a urine culture and blood work. I never in my life hoped so much that a pet had an infection, because if he didn’t, it meant it was something much worse. Unfortunately, it was negative. His appetite also started to decline over the weekend and he was even thirstier than normal (which was already a lot). The vet had advised that until we got the results, that I just keep doing what I was doing with his palliative care. On Monday I called the vet asking if they had gotten the results back, and they told me they had emailed them to me. Unfortunately, I have two gmail accounts and if I’m logged into one, I don’t receive notifications for the other, so I didn’t even know I had gotten them already. If I had known on Friday instead of Monday, maybe I could have had him euthanized on Saturday instead of Tuesday. I don’t *think* he was suffering those three extra days – he was peeing in his litter box for the most part, still wanted loads of attention and cuddles (he was seriously THE sweetest, cuddliest cat ever), and went crazy for treats. But I’m still beating myself up about it. I talked to the vet on the phone on Monday night and rattled off everything I was thinking – how he was eating less over the weekend, was already underweight, about 18 years old, probably had near-failure of his kidneys and/or pancreatic tumors by this point (indicated by the bloody urine) – and how putting him through a diagnostic ultrasound didn’t seem beneficial when it was going to tell us what we already knew. I felt like with all things considered, it was finally time. And she said, “It sounds like we’re on the same page,” which I’m so thankful for because I didn’t want to feel like I was quitting on him if there was a chance he could pull through. So, we made the appointment.
I also wonder if I should have found a way to ask our vet to come to our home for it. She’s basically a one-vet practice (but she’s amazing) and is very busy, but I probably should have asked anyway. We were lucky to get him in as quick as we did. I slept downstairs on the couch Monday night so I could be closer to him (I didn’t want him to have to struggle up the stairs), and he did spend almost the entire night with me. I didn’t sleep much. (My husband is wonderful and also slept downstairs to support me.) All Monday night and Tuesday I cuddled him, gave him treats (but not too many, I didn’t want him to get sick), took loads of pictures and videos. He even got to go outside on our way to the car (because I did NOT want to cram him into a carrier on his last day). He always did great at the vet, loved to explore, loved the attention, was totally relaxed, so I don’t *think* he was scared or stressed out. It was kinda hard watching the sedative kick in though because he tried to fight it and walk around, and kept falling. When I finally got him to lay down on the blanket, I laid right next to him on the floor, face-to-face, and talked to him and petted him. So I feel pretty sure I’m the last thing he saw (unless his sight had already gone, I guess I’ll never know). During the injection itself, I was right next to him even though he was sedated, so I don’t know if he could hear me or not but I told him what a good boy he was (the actual BEST cat ever), and gave him so many kisses on his face because he always loved them. I’m hoping I did everything right by him.
I’ve already mourned him several times over the last few months with his disease because he had a few rough patches and I didn’t think he’d make it. You’d think this would have been easier by this point. But before, he always bounced back with meds/fluids. But I dunno, something about it this time told me it was THE time (the negative urine culture, decreasing appetite). And then when my husband and vet both agreed with me this time (before, they used to encourage me that he still had fight left), it seemed like the right thing to do. I opted for euthanasia because I wanted it to happen while I was there with him, and I didn’t want him to suffer for no reason. My biggest fear was that I’d come home after a long day at work (10 hour shifts) and find he had passed away alone in his own urine or something. I wanted his last day to be a good one (or at least as good as his disease allowed), not filled with pain or vomiting or any of the other terrible things that come with CKD. And I *think*, overall, that’s what we had, a good day. My brain tells me I did the right thing, but my heart is second-guessing every detail of the past week, wondering if there’s something I should or could have done better. If I had seen the email sooner, or if I should have thought to ask the vet to come to my house, or…..anything. I briefly almost even thought about cancelling the appointment to get one more day with him, but told myself, “No, this is for him, you don’t want him to suffer or starve to death.” Time went too fast yesterday.
I also feel really terrible because we have another senior cat, Mia, and I wonder if I’ve neglected her these past few months. Taking care of Skye’s disease took so much time, energy, money, and emotional toll. I still paid attention to her of course, but he was my focus. And some part of me almost feels a little bit of resentment towards her for not being snuggly like he was, which is utterly ridiculous because she’s the fluffiest, cutest little munchkin ever. I feel horrible about that, she hasn’t done anything wrong, but she’s not HIM. He was my shadow, my buddy, my 11/10 best boy. He couldn’t WAIT to sit on my lap when I got home every day. He loved to talk, and steal our food. He did this adorable little thing where he looked up at me while he was laying on my lap, and then would kind of flop his head on my chest for attention. She doesn’t do any of those things. Aren’t I awful? I feel like a terrible person for feeling that way. But I do love her, I promise. I cried into her fur today because I felt so terrible about everything.
Anyway, thank you for this article. I’m having so many mixed thoughts and feelings and emotions right now and am just trying to get through it in one piece. He and I both fought this awful disease so hard and it’s not fair that it took him away before his time. I’m so afraid I’m going to forget his many, many different types of meows, or his scent, or the way his fur felt. I really feel like I lost a part of my soul. There’s a Skye-shaped void now and I don’t think it will ever be healed.
Everything you’re going through is so normal after experiencing a pet get sick and then having to say goodbye. I’m SO sorry for your loss. Sending big hugs your way as you grieve. <3
Yesterday was a horrible day. We had to say goodbye to our loving cat Nina after almost 16 years. She wasn’t just a cat.. She was our best friend and always by our side. She was there to comfort and love us every day. The heartbreak is beyond explanation. My daughter was 3 years old when we adopted our Nina as a kitten from a local shelter. We couldn’t believe how lucky we were to have Nina. She was a sister to my daughter. We are just so broken.
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Nina. I’m sending hugs to you and your family during this difficult time.
I lost my beloved parrot, Turbo, of 20 years back in November 2024. I am truly devastated still. I had him since I was a teenager so he has been with me half of my life. After he hurt himself, I was by his side for the last 6 months of his life around the clock, hoping he would recover. Ultimately, he went home to be with the Lord. I’ve been trying to process his passing as he was not only my best friend, but a child to me. I know that it will take time, but reading this article and seeing others go through this grief helps me not feel alone. Animals are truly a blessing from God and I am so thankful that I was Turbo’s mommy for his entire life. ❤️
I’m so very sorry to hear about your beloved Turbo. Animals really are a blessing – they bring so much joy to our lives. Im sending hugs during this difficult time of grief.
I had to euthanize my 12 year old lab Maddie yesterday morning. She had arthritis in her back legs and had a very difficult time walking. She had cushings disease and was loosing her fur and dropping weight like crazy. I had her on medication but it never seemed to be enough to help. She collapsed on our daily walk and had a seizure. I immediately picked her up and carried her home and called the vet. I knew it was time, even if I was not ready. I would not let her suffer. I’ve worked from home the last 5 years so I’m so glad I got that time one on one with her. I was her main caregiver and with her 24/7. She was by my side constantly. My shadow. The overwhelming sense of grief is so heavy right now. I feel like I’m drowning. Im so brokenhearted and sad and devastated. I just want to know she is okay and knows I loved her and that I miss her terribly. The house is so empty now. I miss my sweet girl.
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved lab, Maddie. Saying goodbye is so hard. I’m sending hugs your way during this difficult time of grief.
I just had to put my sweet boy Melo down 02/28/25, after giving us 14.5 beautiful yrs. I thought I prepared myself mentally because he had oral cancer and the vet told me the stages I had to be aware of and I was wrong. Oh I miss my sweet boy, I’m going through a roller coaster of grief right now, I know I did the right thing because he was in pain but I still had hopes (denial) that he was okay and we were going to celebrate his 15 birthday in July 12.
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of Melo. I understand how painful the roller coaster of grief must feel right now. I don’t really have words of comfort. I’m sending healing prayers your way during this difficult time. <3
We lost our precious and beloved Nuzzle after 13 years of being part of our small family.
He got sick suddenly and died within 36 hours of falling ill. Nuzzle was part of our every routine, a safe and comforting presence in our family of 3. He grew up with our son (now 15 years old) and we feel like we have lost a child. The sudden passing has left a void in our lives that we know no other pet will fill. He was 1 of a kind with his personality. It’s been less than 24 hours and the pain feels heavy and the reality feels unreal.
This is so har. I’m so very sorry. You’re right – life feels absolutely unreal after saying goodbye to your pet. It’s incredibly painful, and I’m sending prayers for peace to you and your family.