If you’re feeling overwhelmed and depressed, I’m going to share a saying with you that’s a bit cliche, but that’s because it is true:
“it’s okay to not be okay.”
Usually, when you are feeling “not okay,” you are looking for solutions to help you get out of that state as soon as possible.
And I get it – when you’re feeling overwhelmed or extremely sad, that feeling of being not okay really sucks when you’re in it!
But what would happen, if, instead of forcing yourself to get back to being okay ASAP, you opened yourself up to the experience you’re going through?
What if you allowed yourself to be present with your feelings? And really explore what they are all about?
What if, instead of expecting yourself to move through this period quickly, you shifted your attention to getting good at it being in it?
There was a period a few years ago when I was going through a very tough time. I was not feeling okay. I was definitely overwhelmed and definitely depressed. And when I finally surrendered to that fact, it actually felt kind of good.
Because there is something about owning your truth that is so freeing. You don’t have to pretend anymore. You can be honest with yourself. And being honest with yourself is essential to self-growth. And eventually moving past those feelings of overwhelm or depression.
Here are six things you can do if you’re feeling depressed, overwhelmed, or simply going through a tough time, and want to try to get better at being not okay.
1. Acknowledge that you’re not okay
Don’t force yourself to feel okay when that’s not the reality. Suppressing what is true for you will only delay your healing process. Acknowledging your feelings of overwhelm or depression is freeing in and of itself. And remember to not shame yourself for how you feel, and instead learn to practice self-compassion.
2. Take care of your body
The mind, body, and spirit are all interconnected. When your mind and your spirit are not okay, start with the body. Keep it simple: Remember to hydrate. Eat. Get good sleep. Shower. Get Dressed. Move your body.
3. Create a safe space
What I mean by a safe space is creating a space where you can simply be yourself in the moment. No pretending – no lying to yourself. Being truly authentic. This could be with a supportive friend or a therapist, an area in your home where you can be with yourself and your thoughts, or even by creating a safe space to go to in your mind.
4. Be open to learning
If you’re feeling not okay, it is likely for a reason. And digging into that is going to help you learn more about who you are and who you want to become.
Pause before making decisions. Practice preserving your energy, and choosing what is best for you. Learn to trust in yourself. And if you aren’t sure where to start, download my free self-reflection guides.
5. Trust in your own resiliency
You might fear admitting to when you are not okay because you are afraid you won’t be able to handle it. That the feelings or the experience will be too intense. Or last forever.
But luckily, resiliency comes with being human. You are born to survive. Believing in your own ability to endure whatever suffering you’re going through might be hard, but it isn’t impossible.
For me, when I was in a “not okay” place, I eventually had an epiphany. One night, I had just gotten off the subway after a long day of work, when the idea “I am vast enough to be going through this” popped into my mind. And it became quite a healing mantra.
Because it meant I didn’t have to like what I was going through; I didn’t have to think it was all for the best; I didn’t even have to be strong if I didn’t want to be. But there is comfort in knowing I am expansive enough to hold space for my feelings – to endure overwhelm, sadness. To endure life, and all of the complicated experiences and emotions it brings.
6. Get Support
Being able to ask for help and lean on others when you’re going through a tough time may feel difficult at first, but can provide true comfort and healing. Or at the very least, help you feel less alone while you’re in it.
Of course, if you are having thoughts about harming yourself, or want to end your life, I encourage you to reach out to someone. Things do get better. Talk to someone about how you feel. Real support is out there.
New York Support Line: (212) 673-3000
National Suicide Hotline: 988
Immediate Assistance: 911
And if you’re feeling not okay right now, and happen to be in the NYC area, I encourage you to reach out. Because no matter what you’re going through, you don’t have to do it on your own. I promise, there is a way through.
