Are you feeling overwhelmed and depressed? If so, you’re probably very eager to move through this dark period and get back to your normal self. And I’m here to help you do that.
But first, I want to remind you of a saying that has become very cliche, but is also very true.
And I want you to try to really feel these words as you read them:
“it’s okay to not be okay.”
Usually, when you are feeling “not okay,” you are looking for solutions to help you feel better. Because you tend to assume that feeling “not okay” means something is wrong with you.
But the reality is, you are going to go through times when you’re not okay. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, sad, or depressed. Those feelings come with being human.
So what would happen if instead of forcing yourself to get back to being okay ASAP, you opened yourself up to the experience you’re going through?
What if you allowed yourself to be present with your feelings? And explore what they are all about?
What if, instead of expecting yourself to get over being overwhelmed and depressed, you gave yourself permission to be in it?
There was a period a few years ago when I was going through a very tough time. I was not feeling okay. I was feeling overwhelmed and definitely depressed. And when I finally surrendered to that fact, it actually felt kind of good.
Because there is something about owning your truth that is so freeing. You don’t have to pretend anymore. You can be honest with yourself. And being honest with yourself is essential to self-growth. And eventually moving past those feelings of overwhelm or depression.
Here are six things you can do if you’re feeling depressed, overwhelmed, or simply going through a tough time, and are curious about moving through being not okay.
1. Acknowledge that you’re not okay.
Don’t force yourself to feel okay when that’s not the reality. Suppressing what is true for you will only delay your healing process. Acknowledging your feelings of overwhelm or depression is freeing in and of itself. And remember to not shame yourself for how you feel, and instead learn to practice self-compassion.
2. Take care of your body.
The mind, body, and spirit are all interconnected. When you feel like you have no control over your mind or your spirit, start with the body.
Keep it simple: Remember to hydrate. Eat. Try to get some sleep. Shower. Get Dressed. Move your body. Rest your body.
3. Create a safe space.
What I mean by a safe space is creating a space where you can simply be yourself in the moment. No pretending – no lying to yourself. Being truly authentic. This could be with a supportive friend or a therapist, an area in your home where you can be with yourself and your thoughts, or even by creating a safe space to go to in your mind.
4. Be open to learning.
If you’re feeling not okay, it is likely for a reason. And digging into that is going to help you learn more about who you are and who you want to become.
You learn when you take a pause before making decisions. Or by preserving your energy, and choosing what is best for you. Learn to trust in yourself. And if you aren’t sure where to start, download my free self-reflection guides.
5. Trust in your own resiliency.
You might fear admitting that you are not okay because you are afraid you won’t be able to handle it. That the feelings or the experience will be too intense. Or last forever.
But luckily, resiliency comes with being human. You are born to survive. Believing in your own ability to endure whatever suffering you’re going through might be hard, but it isn’t impossible.
It doesn’t mean that you have to like what you’re going through. You definitely don’t have to think it is all for the best. You don’t even have to be strong if you don’t want to be. But there is comfort in knowing you were born with the capacity to hold space for your feelings – to endure overwhelm, sadness. To endure life, and all of the complicated experiences and emotions it brings.
6. Get Support.
Being able to ask for help and lean on others when you’re going through a tough time may feel difficult at first, but can provide true comfort and healing. Or at the very least, help you feel less alone while you’re in it.
Of course, if you are having thoughts about harming yourself, or want to end your life, I encourage you to reach out to someone. Things do get better. Talk to someone about how you feel. Real support is out there.
New York Support Line: (212) 673-3000
National Suicide Hotline: 988
Immediate Assistance: 911
And if you’re feeling not okay right now, and happen to be in the NYC area, I encourage you to reach out. Because no matter what you’re going through, you don’t have to do it on your own. I promise, there is a way through.