A Therapist Shares How Long It Takes to Grieve a Pet

There’s no official answer to how long it takes to grieve a pet. For many people, the most intense grief starts to soften between six months and a year. If you loved your pet with your whole heart, some version of that grief may stay with you for life, but it won’t always hurt this much. I’m Paige Rechtman, a licensed therapist (and bereaved pet parent), and here’s what I’ve learned from working with hundreds of grieving pet parents.

“Didn’t they die a few months ago?” “You’re still upset?” “Isn’t it time you get a new pet?”

If you’ve lost a pet, you’ve probably heard some version of these questions. Maybe from a coworker. Maybe from a well-meaning friend. Maybe from the voice in your own head.

And I get it. When you’re in the thick of yearning for your pet, all you want to know is when will this stop hurting so much?

So I’m going to give you the most honest answer I can, as a therapist who has sat with so many grieving pet parents, and as someone who lost my own soul-creature, my cat Squiggles.

And trust me, I know how badly you want to know how long you’re going to feel this way. But focusing on the timeline might actually exacerbate the pain of your grief. More on that below.

How Long Does Pet Grief Last? What the Research Says (and What I See in My Work)

Here’s the thing nobody tells you: pet grief has barely been studied. The research we do have comes from small groups of people, so try not to compare yourself too harshly with the numbers below. They are not a rule, just some information to help.

With that said, here’s what the research says:

• Grief usually softens over the first year. In one study of 174 adults who lost a pet, 86% had at least one grief symptom at first. That dropped to 35% at six months and 22% at one year. The closer people were to their pet, the longer and more intense their grief.
• For about 1 in 5 people, losing a pet hurts more than losing a person. I hate to compare grief experiences – I only share this to validate that losing a pet is HARD. A January 2026 study of 975 adults in the UK found that 21% of people who had lost both a pet and a person said the pet’s death was the most distressing. If you want to know more why, check out my article on the Unique Stages of Grief After Losing A Pet.
• For some, grief gets stuck. That same study found 7.5% of people who lost a pet met the criteria for prolonged grief disorder, about the same rate as losing a close friend. (More on what that looks like below.)

In my work with bereaved pet parents, I try not to focus on strict timelines or on moving on as soon as possible. Instead, we allow the grief space to breathe, no matter how much time has passed. In doing so, here are some trends I’ve discovered:

• For most of the people I work with, the sharpest edges of grief start to soften somewhere before the one-year anniversary.
• Anniversaries and important dates, like gotcha days, can be particularly challenging, within the first year and beyond.
• The change of seasons can bring a new wave of grief. It brings up memories of your pet during the times of year they loved, and it’s yet another marker of the passing of time.
• For some, entering the second year of loss can be unexpectedly tough. You got through the first year, so you think “okay, the worst is over now.” But when it’s still hard, it can make you feel like you’re falling behind.
• Sometimes the pain surfaces on a random day, with no rhyme or reason, even years later. There’s nothing wrong if that’s the case.

But there’s an important caveat: the people I work with aren’t struggling on their own. They’re getting counseling, group support, and are part of a community of other pet parents who truly get it. That support may be part of why their grief tends to be softer. Grieving alone, surrounded by people who think “it was just a pet,” is a much harder road.

So yes: if you’re still sad six months later, you’re in very good company. One in three people are, too.

How long your grief lasts depends on things no study can measure: how your pet died, the bond you shared, how much support you have, and what else you’re carrying right now. A sudden loss, a hard euthanasia decision, or a pet who got you through a difficult period in your life, like a breakup or a big move, can all make grief last longer.

Related: The unique stages of grief after losing a pet after 15+ years →

Why the 6-Month Mark Is So Hard (and the Year Mark Too)

In my work with bereaved pet parents, I’ve noticed the 6-month mark catches a lot of people off guard.

It’s a strange in-between. On one hand, it feels like so little time has passed. You can still picture your pet sitting next to you like it was yesterday.

On the other hand, six months is half a year. It’s a real marker. And the people around you may have decided you should be “better” by now.

Then there’s what’s looming: the year mark. The first anniversary of their death is its own kind of hard. It can feel completely unreal that a whole year has gone by without them.

If any of these markers are hitting you hard, nothing is wrong with you. You’re a human being who has lost someone they love, and it makes sense to still be grieving.

My Own Timeline After Losing Squiggles

I’ll be honest: the first year after Squiggles died is mostly a blur.

She died in June. Those first few months were not fun, to say the least. And that first winter without her was really difficult. I remember sitting on the couch, and the thought that I was truly never going to be able to see her again, pet her again, hold her again, hit deep into my soul. I remember just sobbing my eyes out.

Things started to feel a little lighter in the spring. Partly because spring is a hopeful season. And in part because I was in the middle of drawing the images for the book I dedicated to her, It’s All The Same Forest. But part of it was because I had some really exciting things to look forward to in my life (specifically, seeing Taylor Swift in Lyon on her Eras Tour!). Letting yourself have a fun distraction is the one of healthiest thing you can do for yourself.

I think another big part of it is that I started doing pet loss work around the spring, and carrying her memory in a new way was healing for me too.

By the one-year anniversary, we had new cats. (Which, looking back, I probably wasn’t ready for. That’s a story for another time.) And the one-year anniversary itself still felt completely unreal.

As I’m writing this, it has been 3.5 years. But the other night, I was up sobbing because all I wanted to do was go to sleep with her in my arms. The griefbursts come and go, still, even after a few years. But now when they come, I welcome them, because the grief reminds me of the love.

So if you’re looking for proof that grief follows a neat schedule, I’m not it. And neither is anyone I’ve ever worked with.

If you’re in the thick of it right now, my free guide, Coping with Pet Loss: A Self-Care Guide, can help you get through the hardest days.

The Biggest Myth About Pet Grief: That There’s an “End”

I know you want the pain of this loss to end. It is so difficult to experience, believe me, I know it.

But I’d gently push back on focusing on the timeline. A) Because there is no guaranteed answer. And B) even once the acute grief is over, something else shows up.

You start missing the missing them.

The raw ache that kept them close fades, and suddenly you miss that, too. The tears felt like a connection to them. When the tears come less often, it can feel like you’re moving on. Which brings a new and very strange kind of sadness.

It’s a whole new flavor of grief, that nobody warns you about it.

So instead of asking “when will this be over?”, I’d invite you to ask something different when the grief surfaces: “what do I need right now?”

Less judgment about time. More presence and mindfulness.

Less pressure to speed through the process. More self-compassion and kindness towards yourself.

What Actually Helps (Hint: It’s Not Rushing)

You can’t speed up the hurt. As you’ve probably heard, “the only way out is through.”

But while you’re in it, these are the things I’ve seen that can help while you are hurting. (For more, here’s how to grieve a pet: the 10 things that helped me most.)

1. Talk to people who get it. Pet grief gets heavier when you carry it alone, or spend time around people who think “it was just a pet.” Find the therapist, the friend, or a pet loss support group where you can talk about your pet as much as you want.

2. Honor your pet. A memorial shelf, a journal, planting something, a donation in their name. Giving your love somewhere to go helps you carry their memory in a new way, instead of only carrying the loss.

3. Give yourself something to look forward to. This was a big one for me. When spring came after Squiggles died, having a big trip to see Taylor Swift to look forward to added joy and anticipation to my brain. It didn’t remove the grief, but it added other joy and excitement to think about. You don’t need a big trip either. It could be trying out a new restaurant with friends or going to get a massage.

4. Stop judging yourself for how you feel. This is the big one. The goal is to meet yourself where you are on any given day, and not punish yourself for how you feel. That applies whether it’s week two or year three. Every time you judge yourself for still being sad, you add another layer of pain on top of the grief. Repeat after me: I can take all the time I need in the world to grieve my pet.

5. Integrate the loss into your life. Your pet’s death isn’t something to get over or move on from. It’s something to carry with you, differently, over time. And eventually, it will feel less painful.

Want support from people who get it? Learn about my pet loss support group and 1:1 pet grief coaching →

When Is It More Than Grief?

First: give it a year. Grief that’s still intense at six or nine months may still be happening for you, and that’s okay. After a year, if it’s still this intense, it may be time for more support.

I hate to get all clinical on you, but educating yourself can help you know what to do next. The DSM-5-TR considers someone to have prolonged grief disorder when, a year or more after a loss, you still feel intense longing for or preoccupation with who you lost nearly every day, plus at least three of these:

• Feeling like part of you died with them (identity disruption)
• A strong sense of disbelief about the death
• Avoiding reminders that they’re gone
• Intense emotional pain, like anger, bitterness, or sorrow, about the death
• Trouble re-engaging with life: friends, interests, plans for the future
• Emotional numbness
• Feeling that life is meaningless without them
• Intense loneliness, or feeling detached from others

And the emotional pain has to be getting in the way of daily life.

One frustrating detail: officially, the diagnosis only applies after the death of a person. But if you’re here, then you know your pet is your family, and I think the same concepts can be applied.

So if it’s been over a year and a lot of those symptoms sound familiar, please talk to a therapist. But of course, you don’t have to wait until a year is up! Getting support before the year mark can make the grief process so much more bearable.

If you’re ever struggling to stay safe, call or text 988 (US, 24/7).

You Have the Right to Grieve as Long as You Need To

So, how long does it take to grieve a pet? If you loved them with your whole heart, probably the rest of your life. But it won’t always be so painful.

A client of mine shared a beautiful metaphor – that grief is a lot like glitter. When it first enters your life, it is EVERYWHERE. You try your best to clean it up, but you can never truly get rid of every single piece; just when you think you have, a stray speck catches the light and reminds you of a deep, beautiful love that never goes away.

If you’re still in the thick of it, you are not broken. You are human. And the grief, and the love, you have for your pet is, in many ways, more beautiful than glitter.

Tell me in the comments: how long has it been for you since you lost your pet? What’s helped? Someone reading this might need to hear it.

Frequently Asked Questions

How long does it take to grieve a pet?

There’s no set timeline. For many people, the most intense grief begins to soften between six months and a year, but it can take longer. How your pet died, how close you were, and how much support you have all affect it.

Is it normal to still grieve a pet after a year?

Yes. The first anniversary is often one of the hardest days. Missing your pet for the rest of your life is normal; what changes is how manageable it feels. If grief is still intense and getting in the way of daily life a year or more out, it’s worth talking to a therapist.

Why is the 6-month mark after losing a pet so hard?

It’s an in-between. It can feel like almost no time has passed, yet six months is half a year, and the people around you may expect you to be “better.” The year mark is also looming.

Can you get prolonged grief disorder from losing a pet?

Research says yes. A 2026 study found 7.5% of people who lost a pet met the criteria for prolonged grief disorder, similar to losing a close friend, even though the official diagnosis currently only applies to the death of a person.

Why does grief come back after I started feeling better?

Grief comes in waves, and anniversaries, seasons, and small reminders can bring it back. Many people also start “missing the missing”: missing the intensity that made them feel close to their pet. Both are normal.

Paige Rechtman, LMHC, is a licensed therapist in New York and the founder of The Furever Forest, a pet loss support community.