If you’re a pet owner, you know the worst part about having a pet it isn’t cleaning up their poop. Or the torn-up furniture. It isn’t even the expensive vet bills.
It’s the fact that one day, you will have to say goodbye.
Your pet is going to get old (if you’re lucky). And eventually, their body will no longer be able to house their beautiful soul.
We never get enough time with our pets. Even if they lived a long and happy life.
Back in June, I was finally forced to say goodbye to my best friend. My soul-creature. My perfect, one-of-a-kind cat, Squiggles. For the past few months, I have been slowly moving through the stages of grief after losing her.
And it’s really, really hard.
My special bond with Squiggles
I’ve had Squiggles since the day she was born. Our other cat, Flopsy, gave birth to her when I was just 16-years-old, which was almost 22 years ago.
And boy did she live her 9 lives to the fullest! She lived in 3 different states, got lost in the wilderness for a whole week, and traveled cross-country with me for 4+ months during Covid.
The bond she and I shared, without a doubt, is one of the most meaningful I will ever have in my life.
She could communicate her needs to me with a single look on her face, and would even lick the tears from my eyes when I was crying.
And for the past 15+ years, I have been *trying* to prepare myself for the reality that one day, Squiggles would die.
And that I would somehow have to continue on without her.
Why Grieving a Pet Is So Hard
When you lose a pet, especially one that you’ve had for a long time, you might face unique challenges around your grief.
Even though you’re going through painstaking sadness, it might seem like your friends aren’t checking in. Or don’t know what to say.
Everyone seems to forget that your life has been forever changed. Which may cause you to feel like you should move on quickly, or not be as sad as you are.
The sadness you feel about losing your pet is valid. There is nothing wrong with you.
A recent study found that when a pet dies, society doesn’t deem it as serious as when a human dies. This lack of validation can cause you to have unresolved feelings about your pet’s death. Which can lead to disenfranchised grief – having nowhere to put your feelings after a loss.
That’s why I created The Furever Forest—a private, supportive community for deep feelers who’ve lost a soulmate pet. Inside, the way you feel about missing your pet is ALWAYS valid. You’ll also have access to full library of pet grief resources, special events, and a much-needed space to express how you feel about your pet (the happy and sad) whenever you need to.
Learn more about our community and join us by clicking here.
Losing a pet is one of the most devastating life events one can go through. Especially if that pet has been by your side, in good times and bad, for such a long time.
And even if your pet lived a good life, when the time comes to let them go, it can feel like an impossible pill to swallow. Here’s why.
1. Your Pet Is Your Family
Even though your pet is an animal, one fact remains: your pet is also part of your family.
And for some pet-lovers, the bond you create feels like even more; a pet might feel like part of your identity. Or even like an extension of your soul.
So when a pet dies, you don’t just lose an animal.
You lose a cherished loved one. You lose a piece of yourself.
Acknowledging the depth of your bond and validating how you feel is essential to healing. And being around others who “get it” will help too.
2. You Lose One Of Your Greatest Sources of Comfort
Your pet provides more than companionship – they can become a major source of comfort and help you relieve stress. So when the one thing you would turn to when you’re feeling sad is no longer there, it may seem impossible to find relief. You can feel more isolated and alone than ever.
Remembering your pet, or looking at photos and videos may feel really hard at first, and unleash a floodgate of tears. There is nothing wrong with releasing your emotions when and if this happens, and can actually benefit you.
Eventually remembering your pet in this way can provide the comfort you’re seeking when longing for your pet.
And, talking to others about them can also ease some of your pain and help you feel less alone.
Those first few days and weeks can feel absolutely excruciating when your pet is no longer present in physical form, and self-care looks different. Download my free guide, Self-Care After Saying Goodbye To A Soulmate Pet, to help you develop a 7 day self-care plan during that initial period.
3. Your Pet Is A Part Of Your Daily Routine
Typically, you spend more time with your pet than anyone else. When that presence is gone from your life, it completely disrupts your routine and makes you feel like you have no reason to get up in the morning.
Now that many of us work more hours from home, we have grown an even deeper attachment to our pets, because they are with us all day long.
If your pet was always by your side, you may automatically turn to talk to them, forgetting that they are gone. You are constantly reminded of the loss, from the time you wake up until you fall asleep. And perhaps in your dreams too.
Give yourself time to get used to your new routine without them there. And have compassion for yourself as you move through your new normal.
4. Your Pet Loves You Unconditionally
The bond and connection that you create with your pet is rare and unique. Relationships with humans come with more complications, more drama, deep insecurities and fears of what others may think.
With a pet, you can be completely who you are, and they will love you no matter what.
And even though your pet can’t quite communicate their feelings with words, you know in your heart how much they love you.
Stages of Grief After Losing A Pet
Grief is something you can try to understand logically, but you have to let yourself experience it to get through it.
What this means is, you can’t skip over your emotional pain. Or bury it forever. Try to let yourself be with it.
Easier said than done, right?
There really isn’t a right or wrong way to grieve. But understanding the different stages of grief after losing a pet, and pinpointing which stage you might be in at any given moment, offers some space for your feelings.
Denial/Shock
This is what many experience as the first stage of grief after a pet dies. It feels like what is happening is completely unreal.
You may not be able to cry or feel sad because you are so in shock. You may have moments where you reach out to touch them, then suddenly remember they are no longer around.
It may feel impossible to focus, to sleep, to wake up, or be around others.
You may feel like you’re in a haze.
These symptoms may feel even stronger if you witnessed the death of your pet, or it was traumatic.
Typically this stage of grief will not last more than a few days. But remember, it might come and go in waves for months after your pet is gone.
Bargaining
The bargaining stage of grief is a period when you try to make promises to a higher power in exchange for helping your pet survive. Or you find yourself begging for relief from the pain.
For someone who may have a terminally ill pet, or a pet that has gone missing, the bargaining stage can be quite significant.
Even though you know in your heart that it is their time to go, you may still find yourself pleading to a higher power for help. Or keep wishing that you could do something to save them.
Guilt
One of the more unique stages of grief for someone who has lost a pet is guilt.
Oftentimes as a pet-owner, you have to be the one who decides when it is time to say goodbye. When you have to choose euthanasia to end your pet’s suffering (like I did for Squiggles), it can leave you feeling ridden with guilt, even when you know it’s the best option.
Guilt can also show up in moments when you notice you are feeling happy again. Or forget about your pet for a few hours. Or get through the day without crying.
This doesn’t mean that you are over the loss, or don’t love your pet – it just means that you’re human, and doing the best you can to get through your grief.
Finding ways to release guilt is something that we focus on in the Furever Forest because it is such a common experience for pet parents. If you’re struggling with intense feelings of guilt, regret, or anger after losing your pet, I encourage you to join our community so you can start to find ways to forgive yourself and stop the cycle of self-blame.
Anger
When anger bubbles up after loss, you might direct it towards anyone – yourself, your vet, your loved ones, even your pet for leaving you. Sometimes you might feel angry or irritable and you don’t know why.
You have a right to feel angry when you pet dies – it totally sucks! It’s the worst thing ever.
You might be angry about how it happened. Or that you have to try and go to sleep without them laying by your side. And angry about having to get through each day without them there to comfort you.
After Squiggles died, I became much more irritable in my day-to-day. Recognizing that this is a part of the stages of grief helped me have more compassion and understanding for myself and explain to others why I was getting so easily frustrated (“it’s not you – it’s Squiggles”).
Oftentimes, anger is just empowered sadness. Which is why it is such an important emotion to feel during your grieving process. It can help you express the depth of your pain. Because eventually that anger will lead to the most challenging stage of grief to process.
Depression
The depression stage of grief is when the reality of the loss starts to settle in. And the sadness you feel about your pet being gone starts to hit.
You may be very tearful, and desperately miss your pet. You may also start to think that you’re never going to feel better, and that you’re alone in your pain.
It’s common for symptoms of depression to show up during this phase, like having trouble sleeping or sleeping all day, changes in appetite, having low energy, inability to focus, or trouble finding pleasure in activities that used to interest you. You may feel more withdrawn and isolated than usual.
This stage of grief is typically the most painful, and happens to be the longest.
During this phase, it is okay to let yourself feel your emotions. Never think that you should be over the loss by a certain time. Or that you should not feel as sad as you do.
Let yourself cry. It’s okay to still miss your pet. It’s okay to give yourself as much time as you need.
You may not feel like being around people, but having support from someone you trust and can lean on during this stage will help.
And if you currently don’t have someone to turn to for emotional support, I recommend going to therapy to process your emotions.
Acceptance
Acceptance doesn’t mean that your grief journey is over; it’s accepting the fact that your life is forever changed.
You may be resistant to move through this phase of grief after losing a pet. You might be afraid that your memories will start to fade – like you’ll forget the sound of their meow. Or the softness of their fur. Or the pitter-patter of their paws.
You might worry that if you accept the loss, it means you aren’t as sad anymore. And that being less sad somehow equates to the love fading. This simply isn’t true.
The acceptance stage of grief is about honoring your pet and having gratitude for all the love you shared.
At the same time, you’re getting used to the “new normal.” And trying your best to live your life the way they would want you to.
Remember, acceptance isn’t an end goal to reach, it’s a continual practice. Some days it may feel like you’re at peace.
But if months later you find yourself sobbing on the couch looking at photos of your pet, barely able to catch your breath (like me, hi!), that’s okay too.
The Bonus Stage of Grief After Losing A Pet: Making Meaning
As you move through the stages of grief after losing a pet, you may also gain new perspectives on life. And eventually, turn your profound grief into an opportunity for transformation and deeper meaning.
Making meaning takes acceptance a bit further. It’s a phase where you are able to integrate the loss into your life in a way that inspires positive change, connection, and hope.
You can do this by channeling your grief into art, and putting something up in your home to remember your pet. Or planting a tree in your backyard to honor their memory. If you aren’t ready for another pet yet, you can try fostering animals as a way to give back.
I fostered kittens for almost a year after Squiggles died, and it felt amazing to help out animals in need. If you happen to live in the NYC area, this is the organization I foster with: Brooklyn Animal Action. And if you’re in a different place, some good ole’ googling can help you find an organization to foster with.
After giving myself the time I needed to move through the stages of grief after losing Squiggles, I have discovered an unexpected and profound way to make meaning out my loss – by supporting others who have lost their soulmate pets by creating and hosting the Furever Forest. In this community for bereaved pet parents, you’ll get grief resources to help you cope, live support sessions to exhale your grief, and workshops to help you heal through creative art. I hope you’ll join us.
When you are able to make meaning out of the loss of your pet, you are able to find a deeper sense of inner peace. And eventually allow the joyous moments to outweigh the sorrow.
Other Things To Remember When Grieving Your Pet
Grief is Non-Linear
Many people think you move through the stages of grief in order. And that you can check off each stage once you’ve gone through it. This isn’t always true.
It is common to jump from one stage of grief to another without any rhyme or reason. You may go from feeling depressed, back to being in denial. Then thinking you’ve reached acceptance, right before you fall back into depression all over again.
You may also feel like you’re in more than one phase of grief at once. That too, is normal.
Grief is Highly Personal
Although these stages can help you pinpoint where you’re at, some days, they may not resonate. That’s okay. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Maybe you have a family member who seems like they’ve already moved on and you haven’t. Or maybe you want to talk about your pet and they are not ready. You are both valid. You can experience your grief in different ways.
If you’re looking for something – anything – to help you cope with this tremendous loss, check out my other article, 10 Things I Did After Grieving My Soulmate Pet. In this article, I combine my therapist brain with my bereaved pet parent brain, and share 10 things that I did to cope.
Grief Is Unexpressed Love
Taking time to grieve the loss of a cherished pet is a natural process. And it is likely that you’ll miss your pet for the rest of your life. This is a difficult thing, but it is not a bad thing!
Missing your pet is a reminder of how much they meant to you. And the grief is so painful because it’s the unexpressed love you still have, and will always feel for them.
Over time, that pain and that grief does become more manageable. I find this box and ball analogy to be an incredibly helpful visualization to understand how.
And if you are grieving your pet-best-friend, I am so very sorry for your loss.
I know that it is impossibly hard.
I have no doubt in my mind that your pet was so grateful to be yours.
They knew, without a doubt, how much you loved them.
Take good care of yourself during this time.
And if you want a space to process your grief and share a tribute of your pet that can live on furever, I invite you to join our warm and compassionate community for bereaved pet parents, the Furever Forest.
You can also follow my newly created pet loss account on instagram – @fureverforest.
If this article resonated with you, please like and share it below.
And if you’re feeling open to it, I invite you to share your pet’s name in the comments below, and any happy memory or story you experienced together. <3
141 Responses
Just lost our soul cat Paddy, happened suddenly. We are so upset and heartbroken. It feels so raw and not real but at the same time just empty and painful. Pad was rescued and bonded with us, sleeping by our side and giving us the best cuddles. I just loved, loved the little guy. We have such beautiful memories and photos but life is empty without him. I’m reading so much about the many others who have gone through the same and just wishing you all love and a big hug♡
AJ, I am so sorry to hear about your beloved soul cat, Paddy. It is so hard, especially when it’s so sudden. I understand the heartbreak. I know it sounds cliche, but it does take time to get used to life without their physical presence. Wishing you all the love too, and sending big hugs your way as you grieve the loss of Paddy. <3
I just lost my sissy she took her last breath in my arms I’m so down she was my best friend it was just me and her and now it’s just me I’ve cried all day
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Sissy. It’s so hard to say goodbye. Give yourself all the time you need to grieve. Crying is healthy. I’m sending you hugs during this difficult time. <3
My bluestare was and is the best thing that could happen to both my husband and me , bluestare would always cuddle up with us in bed .she was funny and I miss her very much.i still cry like a baby for her she will always be bluestare in my heart.love you bluestare for ever.my daughter says to get another dog to easy the pain but I can’t go through this again.again love you Mom. Aww
I’m so very sorry to hear about your Bluestare. It’s so very hard to say goodbye to a pet that means the world to you. Take your time processing this loss, and I’m sending healing prayers your way during this difficult time. <3
I just lost my precious 5 lb. Maltipoo Pixie. I knew at 16 and a half years old she was a senior dog. I had to have her euthanized because she couldn’t breathe and was in pain. Odd thing is this hurts more than when I had miscarriages and 1 stillbirth and one who died after 14 and a half hours. Help!
Elizabeth, I am so incredibly sorry for the loss of your beloved Pixie. I completely understand that the pain is excruciating, and can feel just as bad, if not worse, than other major losses. It sounds like Pixie was there for your during so much, and it’s so hard to imagine not having them there with you in physical form. Please feel free to join my free facebook group to get additional support as you grieve. I’m sending big hugs your way and I’m so sorry for your loss. <3
https://www.facebook.com/share/R1k5uc7wcfbq8Cgq/
Paige, thank you for providing this space, for your understanding and compassion to others grieving our fur babies. My darling cat was attacked by another cat who bit through her jugular and killed her in our garden just under a month ago and as the one to have found her, I am struggling to overcome the trauma and grief of it all. I always dreaded the day I’d be without Darcey, but I’d always envisioned my sweet girl drifting off peacefully and dignified. I feel angry, like it wasn’t her time yet, she still had more life in her to live and it was cruelly taken away by this other cat who had attacked her previously too. I had her since the age of 15 and now at nearly 30, I feel utterly lost without her. She was the sweetest, cuddliest, most loving girl and I never felt lonely when she was around. My days now feel so empty and like you mention in your article, I feel misunderstood by others, like they don’t realise how much she meant to me, you feel like you’re expected to just get over it. She really was an extension of my soul and I can only hope we’ll be reunited one day. I’ve really taken comfort in coming across your page, thank you so much.
Hi Ellie. I am devastated for you and so very sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your beloved Darcey. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you to find her in that state. I wish I had words to provide comfort. What happened is so unfair, and I hope you can take extra good care of yourself during this time of grief. I appreciate the kind words and think I saw you joined the Furever Forest. When you feel ready, please share your beloved Darcey with us in the Meadow. And I think the Healing Grove would be helpful for you too – we have others in that group who have lost pets unexpectedly like this and it could provide you more comfort. Sending big hugs your way during this time.
Elizabeth,
I am so sorry for your loss. I just lost my Dexi (Dexter), an 11 lb. dachshund 2 days ago and I am feeling devastated. Dexi too couldn’t breath (tumor/cancer) and was in pain. I kept feeling I just want one more day. He was my cuddle buddy, a rescue. I was lucky to have him 9 years. I have had dogs my entire life and have had to deal with their passing, but this one is heartbreaking to me. For me, Dexter was my emotional support dog in my life, got me through the hard emotional times with unconditional love – and cuddles!
After reading your post, I believe your Maltipoo Pixie was that for you through other losses in your life. I saw your post and wanted you to know how sorry I am you had to go through this too. It just stinks. Hugs.
My girl was 17 Ruby.. i had to put her to sleep as she had cancer in her foot,I’m griefing real bad, i cannot speak to anyone about how I feel.she was my girl.. I picked her at 1 week old and she only had myself and my daughter..ol and the 2 cats that loved her..my daughter is in Manchester,I come home and rubes she’s not here. I’m soo sad keep crying..I’m heartbroken💔
Michelle, I am SO sorry for your loss. Cancer is the absolute worst. To have a pet for such a long time then have to make the decision to say goodbye is simply excruciating. I understand the pain you must be in. I’ve learned that it is sometimes harder to talk with people in our lives about how we feel when we lose a pet than it is to share our true feelings with strangers. If you want a safe space to exhale some of your grief, you are welcome to join my pet loss community, the Furever Forest. We have a live group session coming up this Thursday, 10/24 plus a bunch of resources you can go through at your own pace. Here is a link: https://furever-forest.mn.co/sign_up?plan_id=1702005
In the meantime, I’m sending big hugs your way as you grieve this loss. <3 I'm so sorry about your beloved Ruby.
I lost my beautiful pup, Oscar, July 14, 2024. I’ve had him since he was three weeks old and had him over 16 years. He was my life; I sang to him, cuddled with him, massaged his leg and shoulders after a jaunt outside. I tried to spoil him but could not stop his health from declining. Vet visit after visit to keep him comfortable wasn’t enough and I tragically and traumatically lost him suddenly. I pray he didn’t suffer terribly during the rush to the vet. Crying, “I love you”, and “You’re a good boy” didn’t suffice during euthanasia or demonstrate how truly and deeply I feel. I am devastated, heartbroken, and cannot and do not want to imagine my life without him. I cried all day today holding his favorite toy hoping for some comfort. I’m grateful he’s not I pain, but I cannot help the feeling of wanting to be with him. I just want him in my arms. I want to kiss him and tell him how much he’s loved. I want to go back in time when he was healthy and relive those moments with him. I feel lost.
Jen, I am so sorry to hear about your beloved Oscar. I know how painful it is to have to say goodbye, and everything you’re describing resonates so hard with me. It’s okay to give yourself as much time as you need to heal. I’m sending you hugs as you grieve this tremendous loss. <3
You expressed exactly how I feel. I keep wishing I could go back in time.
If anything is possible, then why can’t we bring them back?
My depression has lasted months, and I think of my girl everyday. I still cry. I’m not at a point of acceptance, because that will mean I must live with this grief for the rest of my life.
I spoke with an animal psychic who told me that my girl cannot come thru to me if the grief is still there. I wish I believed she is here, but I don’t. It just feels like a void.
I know that feeling – of wanting to go back in time and bring them up here with us. Losing a pet is extremely difficult, and it makes sense to feel depressed. I recently wrote another article on how to tell when the grief has morphed into actual depression. I’ll post the link here. In the meantime, I am so sorry for your loss. And I’m sending big hugs as you grieve your beloved pet. <3
https://paigerechtman.com/depression-after-losing-a-pet/
This sounds like mine.
Atia…and the seven hundred other names I called her. TT, sweet pea, missy britches, my light, my life, my love, my one.
I had a fabulous career, good looks, steady romantic life, stable home, good income, friends, and absolutely none of it mattered to me a fraction of what she did. She was my whole world. Fetch at night (because my city is HOT), walks, lizard hunting, daycare…driving in the car, sniffin stuff, curiosity. Forever curiosity. I swear, we knew each other so well we could almost speak. We knew each other so well we didn’t need to.
A long time coworker and friend passed away, and I was sad. A father figure passed and I was devastated. My actual father passed and I handled it..
But when the cancer came for my little girl, I lost it. I went to every single end to save her. $40,000, delivery CT scans in the driveway of the house, the best doctors, the best care, Spare nothing.
We stole back two years. Two *good* years…happy high quality years.
We fought so damn hard. I fought with everything I had. But I promised I wouldn’t let her be afraid, so when a sudden fast growing tumor in her brain started to make her scared, I ended it.
That was two and a half years ago. It hurt far worse than anything else I’ve ever experienced, even the child I couldn’t bring to term.
It was time. I did everything. She knew she was my world. I spared no expense. I never left her. I kept every promise. “I’ll love you forever” I still keep.
But sometimes, it still tears at my soul.
I am so very sorry for your loss Ammie. Atia was so incredibly loved and so very lucky to be yours. Cancer is the absolute worst. Sending you hugs as you continue to grieve and honor the love you two shared. <3
It’s like you’re speaking for me. I just lost my beloved Shipoo Bailey less than 48 hrs ago. From 6 months old to 12 years old she was my world. Her poor heart gave out and I don’t know how to grieve her because I want her back with me. I want her to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last at night. I want her to cuddle with me, sleep on my foot, greet me when I open the front door….I miss those big beautiful brown eyes, her little sassy attitude. I poured love into her she was my everything, I want her back, I cant believe she’s gone.
I’m so sorry to hear about your Bailey Angela. I relate to everything that you’re saying. Sending hugs during this difficult time of grief. <3
I have just lost my beloved rotti ,Mya who was nearly 8.
.She was my everything ,I am on my own and the place feels so lonely and sad without her.
I am heartbroken and I not coping on any level .
She was diabetic and ill for a while and i had to make that decision and lost her.
I have had other lovely dogs and grieved them and will always miss
them massively .I always say a part of your heart dies when there not here anymore.
This feels worse and I’m overwhelmed with sadness and grief.
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet Mya. It takes a while to get used to this new reality. Be extra gentle with yourself during this time. I’m sending hugs your way. <3
I lost my beloved dog Akira a couple days ago. She was rescued from a meat farm in China and somehow made it to California, where I adopted her. She was my best friend and my soulmate. I don’t know how to live without her. I am sending love to those who are also suffering this kind of loss and a wish that we all emerge able to give and receive more love than we could have ever imagined. That’s what I learned from Akira.
Sam, this message is so beautiful. I am so sorry to hear about your beloved Akira. How lucky she was to have you as her best friend and soul mate. Imagining life without a beloved pet like this is so hard, I know. I am sending love to you during this time as well, and I hope the memories you shared with Akira will remain in your heart, always. <3
Dear everyone- I lost my perfect lil dog today, he had terminal cancer and was in slit of pain, we had to make the decision to put him to sleep. My darling husband dug a beautiful resting place for him by the bird bath in the garden under a glorious hibiscus tree. We held his now frail beautiful little body in our arms as our dear vet gave him the injection that saw his spirit so quickly depart, we were holding him tight and telling him we loved him right up to and beyond the end… we placed him in his final resting place and the tears flowed- the pain is so acute and made me realise the power of love within us all the fully includes animals. Thanks soooo much for your site, I’ve awakened in the middle of the night crying for his loss, he was close to 16 in human years and I got him as a puppy of 9weeks old. The bond between us was/is so powerful and magical, I’m so glad we could have his dear cute little body buried and with us as I have had little moments of unexpected joy where somehow I know he’s now pain free and his spirit is right here with us where he belongs- always. Thank you for this site and to everyone for sharing their stories- we now know in this day and age how intelligent and full of love animals are and our dear pets more than ever, and the bond is deep. Sending love and empathy to each and everyone of you and your dearly, dearest departed.. May love rule this world ❤️
Helen, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Thank you for sharing here. Crying in the middle of the night after losing a pet is very normal. I too have been there. <3 If you haven't joined already, you're welcome into our facebook group (of course, no pressure!). It's a very supportive community of animal lovers - I'll share the link below. I'm sending you hugs during this difficult time of grief. I know it isn't easy.
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im so devastated from the moment his vet told me he got the last stage of cancer weeks ago. i stayed with him all day long, watching him slowly disappear. as im writing this, the clock is ticking towards my 12yo dog’s euthanasia appointment. realising he’ll be gone in a matter of hours really punch me in the gut. i stare at his water bowl and sleeping bed, they’d be empty soon. i can’t imagine how life would be without him.
Chika, I am so sorry you’re going through this. Losing a pet is awful. My heart breaks for you during this unimaginable time. <3 Sending healing prayers your way.
Chica, this is exactly what I went through today… it’s sooo painful, I feel you in every way , there is light that comes through and the realisation that once their spirit leaves their body that is in so much pain that they still are with you forever. Sending hugs and love from some who knows your grief ❤️❤️❤️
I lost my truest companion. My(all white cat Caspurr last night. He was about 17 yrs old . He started with a little difficulty breathing on Friday night. I watched it get worse, I tried everything I could to comfort him, I know that he knew I loved him. I apologize to him over and over, but I wasn’t able to get him to a vet. But they would have just put him down. I put 2 other cats down in my life, and I just couldn’t make that decision again. He died at home. But I feel such HUGE GUILT.
Rick I am so sorry to hear about your beloved Caspurr. Adorable name! 17 years is quite the run for a cat, but I know it’s never enough time. Guilt is such a normal emotion to have when losing a pet, but if you loved Caspurr for his whole life, you did nothing wrong. I’m sending hugs your way as you grieve this tremendous loss. <3
Rick , never feel guilty about Caspurrr- guilt doesn’t belong in this story, you loved and were loved by this beautiful creature everyday of your lives for 17 years, that is so special . Caspurrr is now in spirit form and can appear any time you call her. ✨💛✨
Hey Rick, a lot of us feel guilt for our choices; what we did, what we didn’t do, what we could have done different. That’s true for our own lives, but it’s much more so for an animal family member. Speaking to your story, one of the things I regret is taking my girl to the ER during her last hours. She hated car trips and my last memory of her (while alert) is her crying while I handed her over to the medical personnel (they wouldn’t let me stay with her). I did spent some time with her before we took her life, but she was already given a mild sedative and wasn’t all there. I know I can’t take your guilt away (like nobody can take mine) but I just wanted you to think that maybe you spared Caspurr from the anguish of a trip to the vet during his last hours and gave him the gift of dying in his home. Wishing us all some peace!
I lost my 15 1/2 yr old Lhasa apso on 28th June. A decision to put her to sleep was the hardest of my life. She was the last of my three dogs spanning 18yrs. She was my life, I’m retired and live alone. The last 9 wks of her life were supported my most wonderful vet (who I had known and recently opened her own practice). She went beyond any vet I have ever known to care and support my wee girl and me. I am beyond heartbroken and my grief and anxiety is getting worse by the day
I am grieving so much for Georgie but also I know I had become so dependant on my vet that I know that is part of my grief /separation as well. It is right that she must move on to support her other clients and pets but this is all mixed up. It was the right decision for my wee girl but she was my reason for getting up and going to bed I just don’t know how to put one foot forward
Kate, again I am so sorry that you lost your beloved Georgie. It’s so hard to know what to do or how to act when you’re in the process of saying goodbye to a loving and loyal companion. Try to be gentle with yourself, and take it one moment at a time. Sending you hugs. <3
I had to say goodbye to my handsome boy just over a year ago he was a Staffordshire bull terrier 14 and a half years old it was euthanasia at the vets and it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and go through and still going through I couldn’t even leave the vets and even now I’m not over anything everyday is still really hard for me we did everything together he was my beautiful boy he was like my child if that makes any sense where I went he went he was like my very own shadow if that also makes sense 6 years ago my health took a bit of a turn and he was always there with me right by my side he would never leave my side and became very protective of me also in that time he had 2 types of Cancer had an operation and everything was all good and even with him going through all of that he still wanted to be there for me he was a proper Soldier losing Tyson (that’s my dogs name) felt like a huge part of me was gone and it still does l have never felt a Bond so strong and completely unbreakable I know it will always be that way I’m so sorry I could go on and on X
No need to apologize Simon, I understand. It’s SO hard to lose a beloved pet. I can tell from the way you speak of him how strong your bond was (and still is!). It’s okay to take time to grieve this loss. I’m sending you big hugs. <3
It is somehow comforting to hear that I am not alone in this process. My furry companion of 14 years passed away on July 26th and I am totally devastated. Archie was the kindest and most patience dog I have ever seen. He always looked at me from whenever he was, it was his way of reassuring me that he was with me… and he was. My lovely companion left a huge hole in my hearth, words cannot express what I feel. Deeply sad.
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Archie Sandra. I’m sending you big hugs during this extremely difficult time. <3
Her name is Bella and I miss her terribly. My heart is broken.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved Bella. I understand the heartbreak. <3
Hi I lost my dog, 14 year old Gromit, 2 weeks ago. I feel so empty without him. We had had him from a pup. I am surrounded by family and friends but I’m grieving. Nothing brings much joy currently. Big hugs to all those who are going through similar feelings / it’s pretty rough! X
Lisa, I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Gromit! I understand that empty feeling. It’s so hard to get through those first few weeks and months without your best friend by your side. I understand your pain. Sending hugs to you too! <3 May Gromit rest peacefully.
This is a very helpful reminder that all will be okay. I just lost my dog a couple days ago and we had 13 amazing years together. I lost my little boy my best friend but my memories are mine for rest of my life and I’m extremely grateful to his human.
Oh Geoff, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. I am certain that your little boy was also so grateful to be yours. May the memories you shared together comfort you during this difficult time. <3 Sending hugs your way as you grieve your very best friend.
Just lost my 20 year old cat. Had euthanasia done at my home. Such a beautiful 70° day the windows were open and sunshine. It was so hard to do. I feel worse than when my parents died. Why is that?
Tam, I am so very sorry for your loss. I think it hurts more for a lot of reasons – your pet is your constant companion. There is no drama or judgment or disappointment with a pet – just pure unconditional love. Saying goodbye to a presence that provides so much love and comfort constantly is excruciating. I understand the pain you must be going through. Give yourself all the time in the world that you need to grieve this loss. Sending hugs your way. <3
I just lost my Lyric today. She was a senior cat (16/17) and it happened so so suddenly. She’d been with me since I was 12 and I’m 23 now.It happened so quickly, she had a little trouble breathing late last night and had been acting much more…Withdrawn than usual and when I called the vet, they said keep an eye on her. Stayed home from work because I was sick and because I wanted to make sure she was okay (her breathing was normal when I went to sleep and when I woke up she was breathing and eating fine) Went downstairs to eat lunch, talked on the phone with my sister, came upstairs and she was gone. It’s a unique kind of grief. I miss her so so so much and I keep thinking “God, I feel like crap. I need to go give Lyric a hug and a kiss to make me feel better” and then I remember and the feeling is just….Awful. A quiet realization that I feel in my gut and I miss her so much. I want to hold her one last time, I want to give her her favorite treat, I wanna kiss her forehead and play with her paws and listen to her purr. She’s saved my life countless times and I wish I could’ve done the same.
Taylor, I am so very sorry to hear about your beloved Lyric. I understand how much pain you must be in right now. Saying goodbye is so very hard. I’m sending big hugs your way as you grieve your beautiful girl. <3
I found your site while crying in my car avoiding going home. I just had to let my 18 year tortie, Porcini, go a couple weeks ago. She had been with me since I was 19. I’m 37 now. I rescued her from a vegan diet (a man was raising her vegan at 4 months old and she was dying, so I basically broke into his house when he was away and took her home with me)… And I must press I tried to express to him how ridiculous it was to raise her vegan and that she was dying. A month had passed before I got her. The vet said she was extremely malnutrition and may not live that long. (2-4 years they said) So I kept her, I was only 19 I barely had any money to support a kitty in such a state.
Fast forward, 18 years…. She was my soulmate. I normally would never reply but your words are my words. I definitely feel like a part of me is gone. I only had her… Through college, through relationships… Even a really horribly nasty divorce. The connection I had with her was undeniably the best I’ve ever had. I was hoping she’d live forever or until the world ended. We were born two days apart… And I never thought that in 2006 I would save a kitty (which I had done lots of times before her, I just usually rehomes them) who would become the greatest thing I ever had. My grief has taken on some physical heartbreak symptoms. As much as I know all about the grieving process…. This is beyond anything. Why is it that losing a pet can’t compare to losing a human? I actually think it’s harder.
Porcini was my sidekick… My soulmate….my best friend. She came when I called her name… She was always by my side. How do we survive without them now?
Amanda, I am so very sorry about your beloved Porcini. Wow, what an incredible thing you did, saving that poor baby! Ugh it breaks my heart to learn the ways people treat animals out there in the world. I understand why you are so devastated – those first few days/weeks after losing a pet are completely surreal. And Porcini was with you for so much – it’s impossible to imagine life without them. I know. If you are looking for more support, I invite you to join my brand new community, The Furever Forest. https://furever-forest.mn.co/landing I think it would be a good fit for you. I’m sending big hugs your way as you grieve this tremendous loss. <3
Hey, Amanda, I too have had my cat Jiji since I was 19, and am now 37. How very similar to you and Porcini, except I did not rescue her (and what a beautiful & courageous thing you did!).
Jiji has had cancer diagnosis for 1.5 years now and she and I have fought through every battle together. I love her more than anyone and anything in this world. I would spend my last dollars on her, I’d sell my kidney and re-mortgage my house if I could save her from this nasty illness (this must be me bargaining!). I would give 5 years of my life to have 5 days with her. But despite all treatments and fights, she is now in her last stage of cancer, and declining rapidly. I know it’d be time to say goodbye soon. I just don’t know how my life would be without her, I don’t know how I’d cope without her.
She had been my soulmate, my everything. She has seen me through my good and bay days, my many heartbreaks, throughout my university days and then eventually into adulthood; meeting my husband, getting married, buying a house, etc2. She had been through every single rental move I have made. I would do anything to make her happy and healthy again, or to turn back time to those days when she was still climbing roofs, napping under the jade plant, and stealing chicken and salmon from us. My life just would never be the same again without her, and I honestly feel so depressed at times that I don’t even want to continue on living if she’s not around… I have yet to say goodbye, but I know her time is ending…
Its been a full week now since i had to say good bye to my sweet boy Freddie. He had a bad uti and blockage. After trying to give him treatment and 4 days in hospital, he came home but wasnt doing well over the weekend. Bringing him back to the vet, my worst nightmare was he was blocked again. At 15 years there weren’t many choices and I didn’t want him to be in pain anymore…. I’ve had him through so much of my life and I feel such a large part missing now. I feel so alone and don’t have anyone to talk to. I feel so much guilt about being away and out so much this summer. If only I knew it would be my last summer I would have stayed home more. No one seems to understand or I feel like they think I’m making a big deal. My boyfriend didn’t even come to see me after.
I just wish I could hear his meows and feel his fluffy belly again. I feel like i’ll never recover.
Oh Lara, this is so hard. I’m so very sorry for your loss. The pain you’re feeling is completely valid. Losing a pet is one of the worst kind of life experiences anyone ever goes through – I am so sorry that the people in your life don’t understand that. I can tell from the way you speak of Freddie how much love he received during his life, and he knew that. I’m sending big hugs your way as you grieve this tremendous loss. And if you ever need a place to let it out, you’re welcome to join my new community for bereaved pet parents, The Furever Forest. Everyone in there gets it. https://furever-forest.mn.co/landing
I had to euthanize my beloved best friend Ollie at the age of 17.5 three days ago. Ollie was my second dog and my first rescue. He was a tough dog for the first two years. Lots of baggage and we worked a lot and made steady progress. He was definitely. one of the cutest most adorable dogs I have ever laid eyes on. His DNA test showed he was a Basset Hound-Pekingese cross. Crazy mix but so adorable. Feisty little guy. He became my world. Being single and older, he and did everything together. He was the centre and circumference of my being. The last year was tough. He ended up with pretty severe arthritis so I had ramps built for inside and outside my house which he used for two years. I bought a great dog stroller and we walked twice a day every day for hours. He loved being in his stroller. The last 8 months though, he started to decline. I had to have diapers on him all the time and I had to hand feed him. I think he had a seizure once as well. Then, four nights ago I could tell he was in great distress and I have to make the dreaded decision. A vet came to our house the next day and we let him pass on peacefully with me holding him. I have been through this process before but with Ollie it has been much more intense. I think because he was a rescue and mainly because our bond was so intensified as I nursed him. I am so lost without him. I am suffocating in pain. I am taking care as best I can with long walks – in areas that I don’t associate with Ollie – bubble baths, etc. I hate this process because it is so devastating. It is unbearable. But I also know I have to let myself grieve so that I can move to my next friend. Living alone is very tough without a roommate so I plan to take month and then find the next dog who needs me. As I will need them. Thank you for letting me speak. Each time I write it helps just a wee bit. God – I miss you so so much Ollie.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Ollie. Yes, you do have to let yourself grieve. It isn’t easy, but it is natural. And your relationship with Ollie was significant – it may take time to heal. Sending hugs your way. <3
I lost my beloved Mia on the 26th of September. I have been with this dog since she was born. I visited her until she was old enough to come home to me and my three girls. This beauty helped me heal my family through a very difficult divorce. I was lucky to have her for 14 years! Many transitions happened over this time and she was right there for unconditional love and support. She ended up with spinal narrowing and couldn’t walk. I held her to eat and drink. Carried her to the grass for time outside. I had to decide to put her down and I still am not sure if it was the right time. I hope she can forgive me and know how much I loved her. I am heartbroken, tearful, and grateful for the time I had with this beautiful sole. I hope soon I can forgive myself.
Charleen, I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Mia. It sounds like you did everything in your power to give her the best life possible, up until you had no other choice but to end her suffering. I know it’s so hard to come to terms with, but I know she is grateful that you made the choice you did. Oftentimes, the hardest and saddest choice is the best choice for our furbabies. I’m sending hugs your way as you continue to grieve and heal from this loss. <3
I am not an emotional person. My logical mind typically overrules my emotional mind, but our family had to make the decision to say goodbye to our Penny (14 year old beagle-Bassett mix) 3 days ago and I’m grieving so much I cannot function. We adopted Penny from the shelter when she was a puppy and (of course) she was the best dog ever. We loved her dearly. Almost 2 years ago, after results of her senior bloodwork showed some elevated liver enzymes, the vet discovered masses on her liver (inoperable so we couldn’t “confirm” cancer”) but a vet oncologist treated it with a daily chemo pill to prevent the masses from growing. You would never know she was sick and during this almost 2 years period we would sometimes forget she had a health issue because she was so happy and hungry. Doctors told us she would look and feel great then she would take a very sudden turn and let us know it was time to leave. That’s exactly what happened and we could not let her suffer and we prayed we had not been selfish keeping her with us on chemo treatments as long as we did. My logical mind tells me we we did everything we could humanly do for her and we gave her the best life ever, but my emotional mind latches on to guilt —should we have tried “one more thing” that morning she woke up, didn’t want to eat and was working so hard to breathe? We also moved from the home where she had lived most of her life two days before she passed and my grieving mind keeps blaming the move too. My family is extremely sad, but I’m a complete mess! I cry all day and feel so empty. We do have a 12 year old dog (Penny’s best friend) who I am focusing on and that helps some, but there is still such a hole in my heart. I went through a similar thing 8 years ago with another dog and experienced this same grief. Of course it faded over time, but since I’m in the moment again (just 3 days in) it feels like it will last forever. Reading the comments above helped so thank you for letting us all verbalize what we’re going through.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Penny. You did everything you could to care for her, and I am certain she is eternally grateful to have been yours. I completely understand why you feel like a mess – it takes time to grieve such an important member of your family and life feels surreal in those first few days and weeks. I’m sending you hugs during this difficult time. When or if you feel ready, you’re welcome to post a tribute of your Penny in the Furever Forest, then share it with loved ones to express their condolences. Would love to see a photo of Penny in our Meadow. <3 https://furever-forest.mn.co/share/QRiNX_lZQtBHJ33Z?utm_source=manual
Lost my two childhood cats in January and February of 2022, a month apart. Cuddles was 14 and Trouble died just before his 17th birthday in March. Had them since I was 6 and 3 years old respectively. Grew up with a lot of abuse as a kid, went through foster care at 3 years old til I was 5, was in for 15 months. Came out completely changed and Trouble was the only one who still loved me unconditionally. Mother kept trying to send me back, would kick me out in -30C weather nude as a 7 year old kid and Trouble would keep me company until she’d let me back inside, he slept on my pillow every night and greeted me when I came home from school. He was the one who licked my tears up when I’d cry myself to sleep after my mother tried to send me back to CAS. He always answered me when I called him, even if he ignored anybody else. And he would purr just from me being in the same room as him, nothing ever loved me that honestly. Got Cuddles when I was 8 and I was to her what Trouble had been to me- we had both experienced physical abuse and had aggression issues for it. She came to trust me completely and we three were inseparable. Got kicked out when I was 16, and my mother threatened to euthanize all our animals or take them to kill shelters, so I pleaded with my estranged grandparents to shelter them for me and went into a group home. Later moved precariously further north with my boyfriend, and was looking for some way to have them transported from my Grandparent’s to our apartment a 6 hour highway drive away. Had no car and no license, and they died not long after I’d picked up everything and was desperately trying to find somebody who could drive us to them and back, or fetch them on our behalf. Was devastated. Even more than two years later I often sob and cry so hard I can’t breathe and hyperventilate. At the time, I genuinely considered suicide and would have gone through with it if not for our bird and a kitten my boyfriend got knowing I wouldn’t be emotionally stable after the death of my beloved childhood cats. They were genuinely more family to me than any human I’ve ever met. I love them so badly it’s indescribable, they were like my siblings more than my own flesh and blood. I don’t even remember before Trouble- he was always a part of my life in my eyes. Nobody has ever compared to them, to me- I love them more than anybody else. Have and always will love them the most. I still feel guilty at times, that I wasn’t able to honor my promise to be there for them when they died. Even as a child I knew one day they’d die, and I’d sob and cry into Trouble’s fur thinking about it, but now he’s not here to comfort me because he truly is gone this time. I miss them both sorely, though it’s helped a great deal to have other animals to care for, nothing will ever replace or even replicate my bond with them both- while my animals now are like my children, they were my equals and I grew up with them. I’m grateful for them though, as in some ways my mental health has gotten better– I had a lot of self loathing from my time in foster care, and self hatred. Realizing that I was the only one who’d remember them and love them even years from now, and that they loved me as much as they did helped me finally figure out how to love and care about myself, even when I was suffering the worst from their absence. They were and always will truly be the greatest gifts to me, and helped me be more stable even in their deaths.. but even so, I’d give just about anything to hold them one more time, and to hear them purr against me.. Undoubtedly the worst part of grieving an animal is the lack of understanding by others- a lot of people wonder why you’d grieve so fiercely over something that’s not human, and it’s impossible to put into words the sheer depth of affection and care I received from them and how much I feel I owe them in return. Their love was never conditional, and that makes it infinitely priceless to me.
Wow Ren. Thank you so much for sharing your story here on this page. Trouble and Cuddles were so lucky to have your love. I know it’s so hard to say goodbye, and even harder when you can’t be there to send them off. I’m just in awe of how close your bond was to these animals. Please know that the love and the bond never dies, even when your pets are no longer present in their physical form. That love can be cherished and honored forever. If you’d like to post a tribute of your pets in my new community, the Furever Forest, I invite you to do so. I’d love to see photos. I’m so very sorry for these losses you experienced and am sending big hugs your way. <3 https://furever-forest.mn.co/share/QRiNX_lZQtBHJ33Z?utm_source=manual
Hi Paige,
Thank you so much for sharing this helpful information.
I’m a stay at home dad who just had to
Make a difficult decision to put my 16 year old dog Mieke down today.
I have spent almost the last 8 years with Mieke and my children every single day. She was like my child and I love her dearly.
I have never in my life been so heartbroken and the pain I feel is so intense I worry if I can get over it 🙁
We have a cat at home that is attached at my hip. Do you think other animals
Can sense intense grief?
My cat has followed me around and hasn’t left my side since I came home without Mieke.
Reading these comments is tough but also important to know that other people are dealing with grief just like my family and I are.
I’m just so sad right now .
Derek – I am so very sorry to hear about your beloved Mieke. I understand how hard it is to be at home without your most loving and loyal pup by your side. The pain is more intense and takes longer to subside than one would imagine. Yes, other animals do need time to grieve as well. I’m sure your cat is sad about this loss too. If you’re looking for more support, you’re welcome to join my community, the Furever Forest. I think it will help you during this time. Here is a link, and hope to see you inside. Take good care of yourself. I’m sending hugs your way. https://furever-forest.mn.co/share/QRiNX_lZQtBHJ33Z?utm_source=manual
Hi Paige,
Your kind words help more than you know. You’ve been so supportive with everyone who’s shared their story and I thank you for that.
It’s been three full days since I’ve said goodbye to Mieke and I went from “this can’t and didn’t happen” to…..my friend is gone, she’s never coming back and I’ll miss her until the end of my life.
In the end, I’ve decided to rescue another dog who needs the help.
Not quite now, but maybe in a few weeks/months.
My hurt was so strong the day of and especially the day after, that I said I can’t go through the pain of ever losing another pet again.
Now I’m sad and feel a bit void, but I know I can help out another animal in need. I guess pain is sometimes a negative by product of love.
Thank you Paige for taking the time to hear me. 🙂
Aw, I appreciate the kind words Derek. I get it. It’s just so hard. And pet grief is like a roller coaster – one day you feel a lot better, another you feel like you’re back at square one. I love that you’ve decided to try and open up your heart again to another dog, when you feel ready. Yes, the pain is a testament to the love. Mieke was so lucky to be yours. <3
I lost the best friend of my entire life yesterday. My 13 year old Lhasa Acer was diagnosed with diabetes a week ago and we didn’t catch it in his previous visit. I spent a week trying to get him to rebound from diabetic ketoacidosis with insulin, but the muscle wasting was so fast and the vet said hospitalization was a 50/50 shot with no guarantee at his age. It completely blindsided me and I feel pain and guilt for not catching this sooner. I have been tending to his glaucoma for 2 years on rigorous schedules, eye medications, but the diabetic situation came out of nowhere. I saw his appetite change over a few months craving food and the last month water intake increased ten fold. I scheduled an appointment two weeks ago but couldn’t make it because of my work schedule. His symptoms weren’t as gloomy until last week. All of the sudden, his weight loss and energy levels triggered something and I rushed to the vet last Monday. He took a long walk w my ex the weekend before and had a good day, but the day after things got really dire. I think his energy stores kicked ketoacidosis in high gear and his spine figure was showing by Sunday. The insulin treatment was unsuccessful and I can’t quit blaming myself for not catching this sooner.
He was a biggest piece of my soul and that’s gone now. He loved me unconditionally and got me through 4 immediate family members dying, a divorce, job loss, and basic hell over the last 4 years. I don’t know how to keep going without him now. He seemed at peace wanting to leave this world when we put him to sleep yesterday but the knife in my heart is serrated right now and I don’t know how to cope. Now I’m afraid his twin sister will react to this and she is all I have left. This hurts so bad
Oh Chris, I am so very sorry for your loss. I really feel for you – losing a pet is awful and it sounds like you would have done anything to save your sweet baby. You did absolutely nothing wrong – it’s so hard to know what to do in these situations but I promise – you did nothing wrong. Our pets can’t speak! And you are not a psychic. I hope you can find ways to be gentle with yourself during this time of grief. Our pets always know how much we love them. I’m sending big hugs to you and his twin sister. She will likely take time to grieve as well but praying she’s okay. <3
I’m waiting until 6:30 today when the vet will come to my house and euthanize my best friend, Alfie. He’s a 12 year old Keeshond and I was really hoping he’d make it a few more years. He was diagnosed with lymphoma last year. We did chemo, and it gave us another amazing year with him. The lymphoma came back and I decided to try it again, after 4 weeks we found out he was in kidney failure. He can barely get up on his own and has horrible diarrhea. I’m sitting outside with him right now and it’s terrible. I hate seeing him like this. He loves me so much and always wants to follow me and check up on me and he can’t even move. The adventures we have been on have been incredible. I got him at 9 months old, the same week I met my now husband. We had our first date together, all three of us. Alfie had horrible anxiety when he was younger, so my husband had to carry him during the date because he was too scared to move. When we moved from NY to Colorado the repairman at the apartment complex we were at had let him out by accident and he was lost in Boulder for 4 days. Someone finally found him by a creek. That was 10 years ago. Life has been sooooo amazing with him. He’s been awesome during my pregnancy and with our now 3 year old. I can’t believe I won’t be able to smell him anymore. I love how he smells. He’s so gorgeous. Everyone is always complimenting how beautiful he is, and he really is. I’m so scared for him to be gone. I wish I could take him for one more long walk on this beautiful fall day.
Hi Kelly – I recognize I’m seeing this a day late, which means you have said goodbye to your beloved Alfie. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Lymphoma is the absolute worst. Your heart must feel shattered right now and I feel for you. It sounds like you gave Alfie the best life ever and that he was there for you during some of your most important life milestones. Take all the time in the world that you need to grieve, ok? Sending big hugs your way during this extremely difficult time.
I lost my cat, Stitch, almost ten years ago, now. He was only three years old, and had problems with his heart.
I still struggle to stop myself from crying whenever I take his pawprint down for a dusting.
I’ve lost family members and friends, but for some reason losing him always hurts more, I don’t fully understand why.
Hi Cecil. Thank you for sharing this with us. It’s okay to still cry about your pet. I still cry about pets I’ve lost years ago. There is something about the connection you have with an animal that is so pure. We miss those bonds forever. I also think that the pain is the love, which is why it still hurts. Because the love is still there. Sending you hugs. <3
I lost my beloved cat Poppy after almost 19 years together on 24/10/24 through cancer. She also had CKD and high blood pressure which made her blind 2 weeks before she died. Fortunately due to swift veterinary care she got her sight back after 2 days allowing her to enjoy the garden, smell the flowers and see the birds. A part of me died that day with
her. The physical and emotional pain is unbearable and I feel I will never feel true happiness again. I loved her with all my heart and it is only another pet lover who would understand. Thank you for your website, it is such a support and help for me to journey through and understand these difficult times. Thank you.
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your Poppy. What a beautiful vision – enjoying the garden, flowers and birds. I understand it is so unbearable to say goodbye. My heart goes out to you during this time. <3 May the memories you shared with Poppy remain in your heart, always.
thank you for having this website which helped me realize that my grief and loneliness were not alone. last week I had to euthanize my dachshund Merrick who was my best friend for 17 years. Last year due to cardiac arrest he had to take several medications which eventually led to kidney issues. After his heart attack we thought he would only survive for 6 months. I was very grateful that we were together for one more year. will meet merrick again when I cross the Rainbow Bridge.
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Merrick. It’s so very hard to say goodbye to a pet that has been with you for so long. I’m sending big hugs your way as you grieve this loss. <3
We had to put our sweet Pomeranian down Oct 17, exactly 2 weeks shy of her 15th birthday. For years I imagined taking weeks off from work. She is the closest thing to a daughter my husband and I will ever have. She truly was my world and I miss her so bad. The pain feels unbearable at times. The house feels so lonely and quiet and empty without her presence. Rather than take time off I immersed myself into working nonstop. I’m afraid all I’ve really done is put off grieving. I find myself sobbing in the mornings and evenings, the times when Banna and I would share such special moments x I tried to do some holiday decorating yesterday and completely fell apart. Every ornament picked for 15 yrs is a special reminder of her. I can’t stand trying to get through the days without her. I know it was time for her to leave from a physical sense – her body couldnt fight any more. I just miss her so much. I do t know how it gets any easier.
Sarah, I am so very sorry for your loss. I know the pain of losing a pet that means the world to you and is like your own child is so incredibly difficult. Take all the time in the world that you need to grieve – this is still so fresh. If you’re afraid you’re putting off your grieving and don’t know what to do to process, you’re welcome to join our pet loss community, The Furever Forest. We have a workshop this Wednesday to help prepare for the holidays. <3 Sending you big hugs during this difficult time.
I lost my little bob yesterday,he was a rescued shit zhu and i had him 14 years,he has been suffering from age related health problems for a good few months and was having injections to help with arthritis.Yesterday he went for a groom,wanted him to feel fresh and lovely,ascleaning himself had become difficult,the groomer rang in panic,come quick,bobs in abad way,i got there in 5 minutes,but it was too late,he had collapsed and died,must of been a heart attack,i cant help thinking if i hadnt of taken him he w still be here with me today,i was dreading making the decision to have him put to sleep,but my beautiful boy decided he was tired now and needed to go,i cant stop crying,ill miss him everyday,sleep tight Bob you are so loved xx
Oh goodness – I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your little Bob. My heart breaks for you. I wish I had words of comfort – I can tell from the way you speak of Bob how loved he was, and I am certain he knew it. Sending you healing prayers and light during this extremely difficult time. I know it isn’t easy. <3
We lost McGregor our 15 year old orange tabby 2 days ago. McGregor, or McG, was his nickname, was my loyal friend (and my partners’) with the biggest heart. He was a curious chatterbox and gave the best cuddles.
It was a hard few weeks/months/year as he had cancer. I can’t stop thinking about what more we could have done for him, or discovered it sooner, or noticed the decline more to prepare myself. I was dreading that first morning in our quiet home.
I was thinking about why this hurts so much. I think it’s because they make our hearts bigger. They give us so much loyalty and love every day. There’s nothing like it. They accept us for who were really are. That huge part of your heart they occupied, goes with them.
I didn’t want to write a comment because leaving a note here, especially so soon, made it real, that our McG is really gone. But I read so many comments of other grieving parents and felt a brief comfort in reading stories about other loyal friends, and knowing I’m not the only one who feels this.
Thank you.
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved McGregor. Cancer is the absolute worst. It hurts SOOOOO much. Nothing can prepare you to say goodbye to a creature that loves and accepts you so wholeheartedly. I’m sending healing prayers your way as you grieve. <3 Thank you for sharing too - it does take a lot of courage, I know.
Thank you Paige for your helpful kind article. We lost our dear feline friend Ginger last Saturday to a fox attack. He was 18 and had been with us for 14 years through thick and thin. It’s hard to express how my wife and I feel. It’s been a very bad week full of shock, grief and guilt that we couldn’t save him. One day we hope we’ll see him again…
I am so very sorry to hear about the tragic loss of your beloved Ginger. My heart breaks for you during this devastating time. I wish I had words of comfort – just know I’m sending healing prayers to you and your wife. You’re right – it is hard to describe those first few weeks and months, and when you lose a pet unexpectedly, it adds another layer of pain to the grief. I do believe that one day we will all be reunited with the souls of our loving pets. I’m sending big hugs your way as you grieve. <3
I came across this page tonight and I can’t tell you how your story and the testimonials from others has helped. I tragically lost my beautiful Benny boy yesterday morning. He was a 9 year old golden mix and truly the love of my life ( my husband already knows this). I’ve lost grandparents, in-laws and my own father and even a previous dog, but this feels so different. I came home from work Friday to a normal healthy dog. Saturday morning I woke up and he wouldn’t eat his treat (he got one every morning after his teeth brushing). We knew something was up.
He was not himself. Because it was Saturday we called a new emergency vet who saw him at 2pm. At this point he was walking , breathing normal but just lethargic and not eating and drinking. The vet did ultrasound and checked him over and couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary. He gave him a shot of anti nausea medication and said if there’s no improvement in 24 hours bring him back. I made him chicken and rice and nothing. He did drink a little but was very lethargic. We had hoped that when he woke Sunday morning he would be better. We were awakened around 430/5 am with heavy panting . The emergency vet we had taken him too wasn’t going to be open until 11. So we found a clinic an hour away that opened at 7. He was laying on the couch with me with laboured rapid breathing and there was nothing we could do. Finally at 7 we called them and they told us to bring him in. By the time we got dressed and got him in the car, he was not able to walk. He died 3 houses from our driveway. I called the local vet and he said he would meet us, so we had to sit with him for what seemed like eternity.
I wish we had just drove the hour before it opened and waited in the parking lot. Maybe he’d still be here. I’m so heartbroken.
I am so very sorry about the loss of your Benny boy Joanne. I understand why your heart is broken. What happened is so shocking and unexpected, that can add another level of pain to the grief. Please know, Benny knew how loved he was (and still is). Try to be gentle with yourself during this time – you did everything you could to try and help him. I’m sending you healing prayers as you move through this devastating loss. I know it isn’t easy. <3
I just lost my very healthy 13 years old cat who was my entire life two days ago suddenly. I opened the door and found him lying on the floor motionless. dr said it was a heart attack and expected with his age.
I can’t breathe or talk the picture of him lying on the floor while I was watching a stupid movie and enjoying my time.
I really dont know how to survive the day I feel numb . I sleep all the time to hopefully wake up from dream and call his name. but no answer.
im really struggling I don’t know what to do he was my entire life i need help i cant face it or face life. in too scared of everything
This is so devastating. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Losing a pet so unexpectedly like that is simply awful. I wish I had words of comfort. This just happened – it makes sense that you’re feeling the way you do. There is stuff out there to help – including my free facebook group or online community. I invite you to join either. I’m sending healing light your way during this time.
Lost my Frank today. Heart is in shreds. My beautiful old gent has left me behind in a huge empty sorrow. He’s everywhere and nowhere.
So sorry Anne. I saw you joined our FB community. I know how difficult it is to go through that you’re in right now. Just know I see your pain and you’re allowed to have it. The pain is also the love, just in a new form. <3
I lost my Jada yesterday (16 year old Springer/Cocker cross dog). I loved her to pieces but man, has this grief hit me like a brick wall. I am missing her so much. I’ve never experienced this level of grief before, it is overwhelming. I keep thinking I hear her or see her. I think her being a part of my life and routine for 16 years is going to make this really difficult. What have others done to help them get through this tough period? I know there is a cure for heartbreak but I am so grief stricken I don’t even know if I will be able to function at work tomorrow. To my Jada, I love you and will ever forget you…never.
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Jada. <3
31.12.24 I lost my best friend – My Love (Jack Russell Terrier)
Just the day before he was cheerful and alert, we went for a walk together, I stroked him before going to bed and on that unfortunate day in the evening he became ill. He had a seizure and I took him to the veterinary clinic where I held him in my arms for the last time and he was taken to the intensive care unit where his heart stopped before the doctors could diagnose his condition. It was heartbreaking, very hard on my soul as if there was a huge hole in my heart that I have to fill with something but I can’t….
It’s very hard for me to accept this fact and I really don’t know how to live with it…. We’ve been together since we were kids and he’s been with me for 11 years. I loved him madly.
That day I was ready to give everything in the world just to help him and keep him alive….
Now it’s very hard to be at home, I turn around every time I see him, but he’s nowhere to be found and it’s so devastating. It’s very hard for me, it was my first dog and I’ve dreamed of having a dog since I was a little girl and when he came into my life I be so happier.
And now the house is so empty and sad.
I miss him so much…I don’t know what to do…..
It’s quite late and I’m very depressed, I came across this article by chance and it helped me calm down a bit, but it’s still very, very hard on my soul.
there is one song that reminds me of him, I don’t know why, but every time I listen to it I always think of my favorite little dog – What i wouldn’t do – serena ryder. I listened to it before he died, but now listening to it makes me want to cry my eyes out.
I am so very sorry to hear abou tyour loss. It makes sense that you feel the way you do. I’ll listen to that song – thank you for sharing. <3
My dogs name was Leeloo, she was five years old, had just had babies on the streets where she’d lived all her life. She’d been taken to a kill shelter, nobody wanted her bc she was “old” and ugly (she was a chihuahua pug so not the most aesthetic dog) but we adopted her and she was with us for another 11years. The best way to describe her is she was a small sun, made of love and sugar. She was so sweet and i gave her so much love. When I was sad I’d just life her up and lay her down next to me, and she’d just go back to snoring. She used to snore in my room, and I take a while to go to sleep but I could always feel her there with me. Her absence hurts so much, I don’t know where to put all the love I have for her, I don’t know what to do with all of it. And im scared that if I start to miss her less it means im losing am the love she gave me and all the love i had for her
I’m so very sorry for your loss Daniela. I understand the pain you must be in right now. I know that feeling – not knowing where to put all that love once they’re gone. I invite you to join my private community for bereaved pet parents, the Furever Forest. It’s a safe space to express that love and continue to cherish it furever. I’m sending big hugs your way during this time of grief. <3
On Jan 6th, 2025, I had to say goodbye to my beloved senior cat of 18 years, Felix, my loyal companion through life’s hardest and happiest moments. He was more than just a pet—he was my best friend, my constant source of comfort, and a reminder of unconditional love. I honestly feel lost, like a huge hole is in my heart where my boy use to be, at times I think I catch a glimpse of him walking by, or hear his faint meow. I wish this pain can be switched off, it’s such an excruciating pain.
My heart is heavy, but I’m forever grateful for the joy and memories he brought into my life. Rest easy, my sweet boy—you’ll always be with me. My Felix, my “gordito” 3/9/06-1/6/25 ❤️
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Felix. I’m sending big hugs to you as you grieve. <3
I lost my Gracie yesterday afternoon. She was my 15 year old cat and best friend. I pretty much knew when we went to the vet yesterday that we were going to have to say our goodbyes. It turned out to be severe kidney failure due to her age. My heart is breaking today as I wander through the house.
Gracie came into my life and picked me. I went to get one of her litter mates. Somehow all the kittens were hiding at this lady’s house and she couldn’t find the one we had discussed over the phone. While she was looking for them, one lone kitten came up to me and jumped into the chair beside me and put her little paws on my arm. The lady came back and apologized for not being able to find the kitten. I looked at her and said, “If this one isn’t already claimed, I think she has chosen me and I would like to take her home.” That’s how our life together started. She chose me.
She helped me through some tough times when it was just the two of us. A couple of lonely Christmas’, failed relationships, illnesses, etc…. And if I cried, she licked my tears away. Even when I realized she was sick, I was talking to her and telling her that if it was time, she had to let me know. As I cried laying beside her on my pillow crying and and wondering how I could find the courage to do the right thing if it was her time, she was comforting me and licking my tears away.
Yesterday morning I think she knew it was time somehow. She got into my arms 3 different times and would just look into my eyes and then take her paw and stroke my cheek. She was definitely my cat and she had a unique relationship with my husband. Sometimes it appeared that they tolerated each other, yet deep down I know they each loved the other one. She let him pet her and love on her while we waited for the lab results. I think that was her way of telling me bye.
I didn’t go to work today. I don’t think I could have concentrated. And the tears are flowing today. It is so empty without her. I picked up her stuff where she ate when we came home last night. My husband picked up and dismantled the litter box area. That’s the hardest part for me to look at, her litter box area in the bathroom.
Gracie wasn’t just my cat, she was my confidant and best friend. I already miss her sleeping on my head and that soft paw on my cheek. I truly feel sick today!
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Gracie. It’s so true – the cat chooses the owner! It sounds like you two were truly meant to be, and that you gave her the best life, full of love. Sending hugs your way as you grieve. <3
I said sweet dreams to my best friend, Bells, last weekend. I always referred to her as my soulmate, so your words sat deeply with me. We experienced so much life together in 15 years, and I knew I would mourn her deeply, but this heartbreak is indescribable. She wasn’t just a cat, she was my teenage daughter. It was just the two of us for so long until we built a beautiful family together. Thank you for validating my greif and offering a space for us.
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved Bells. What a beautiful family you formed with her! Sending hugs as you grieve.. I know it isn’t easy to be without your best friend and soulmate. <3
Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful post. The stages of grief and the reminder that it’s okay to take time to grieve really resonated with me. Your insights, especially about making meaning, brought comfort during a difficult time. I’m truly grateful for your perspective.
Hi Aditi, thanks for the kind words. I’m sorry for your loss and am glad you found some comfort here. <3 Sending you hugs.
I lost my soul dog, Rocky, Sunday January 12th. I had him since he was 2 weeks old and he grew up to almost 17 years old. Saying I’m sad and it hurts is an understatement. There’s this pressure in my chest and each day still feels like the first- heavy. My dad surprised me with a new dog but it’s not the same and I feel I’m unable to love and bond with him at all. The love rocky and I shared is so unique. I promise it’s not an exaggeration, he was like my shadow. He followed my every siNile footstep even if I moved from the kitchen table to the couch (which was only like 10 footsteps apart). I’m having trouble readjusting my life without him presence. I went out a few days ago and it felt so strange to not be home by a certain time to feed and walk him. It was hard to swallow when I realized I no longer need to be home by a certain time. And I’m so mad for some reason because nothing is helping me. All I crave is to touch his fur (which I’ve already forgotten what it feels like) and all I wish to do is sleep literally asking God to let me see him in my dreams. I’m debated and angry that people don’t realize how hard this is. Life simply goes on but I’m stuck on that one Sunday my life changed forever.
Wow – what a long time to be with your soul dog, yet I know, it’s never enough time. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Rocky. I’m sending hugs your way during this difficult time – be gentle with yourself, it takes a long time to adjust. I’m certain you gave him the best life ever. <3
It has been 3 days since I had to make the difficult decision to put down my best friend Sam. He was a 17-year-old Maltese that my wife and I got after we got married. He was 4 months old when we got him. I always tell people that I didn’t pick him he picked me. From the moment he saw me there was this instant bond. He would play fight with me, always wanted to sit right next to me. His favorite spot to sit was on my shoulders behind my neck and be used as a pillow. At night he would curl up in a ball and sleep right in between my legs, because he knew that was a safe spot because I didn’t move while I slept but my wife did. I don’t know if I didn’t move while sleeping because it’s something I don’t do or something I didn’t do because he was there. I would wake up and see him sprawled out legs in the air on his back sleeping away. He would meet me every day at the door for 15yrs. He watched over both my boys and formed an amazing. He loved chasing squirls and bunnies in the yard as well as sitting out in the grass on a sunny day. He loved food. His two favorite things to eat were a nice leafy salad, and rice and chicken curry. 3 days before his last day I gave him some chicken curry and rice and once he smelled it he got up and ate it all. His other meals we had to help him to his bowl.
2 years ago Sam got a bacterial infection on his skin that it took a year and a half to figure out what it was and treat it. Not till we changed vets did we find out he had cushing’s syndrome. That bacterial infection on his skin took a year of his life he stopped doing all the things he loved he started to pull away from us he stopped barking. 6 months ago we started treatment for it and his skin cleared up and he got his bark back. I thought things would turn around, but it just declined. He slowly lost his ability to walk, and was disoriented often, he had seizures that left him dazed and confused. I watched him try to walk and he would just fall over. I couldn’t give him a bath or cut his hair due to the fear that it might stress him and cause a seizure. I didn’t notice how skinny he had gotten. And so on Feb 11 2025 after 17 years I lost my best friend. Honestly, I feel I lost him 2 years ago when he pulled away. Maybe in his dog mind he knew how hard it would be and tried to put distance between us to make it easier on me, but it didn’t matter you were my best friend didn’t matter if we didn’t do the same things anymore. You were mind and I was yours. There is a quote I found by Camille Marcotte that reads “I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you; but instead, I am deeply honored knowing you spent the rest of your life with me.”
Sam You will be deeply missed and forever leave a whole in my heart until we are reunited again.
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your best friend, Sam. My heart goes out to you during this difficult time of grief. Yes, I do believe you will be reunited again. <3
I just lost my little chihuahua Bugsy on 2/16/25. He was 18 years old and would have turned 19 on 2/28. I’m just feeling so lost and wake up not knowing what to do with myself. My whole day revolved around my little boy. I don’t have have many friends and I considered him my best friend. My house just feels empty and I miss hearing his little feet puttering on the floor following behind me, always looking to be by my side. He quit eating kibble years ago so I would make him breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He went everywhere with me and had a little dog stroller that I would push him in when we would leave the house. He was perfectly fine one day running around barking and playing, then the next day he couldn’t move out of one spot. We rushed him to the vet where they told me he was in kidney and liver failure, and that he had a UTI. I’m feeling extremely guiltily, like did the UTI cause the kidney failure?? Did I somehow miss the symptoms? I prayed and bargained just like you said, and begged for more time with him. I’ve been a little preoccupied with some things going on in my life, and I keep thinking, did I hold him enough, did I kiss him enough, did he know that I loved him. Some people don’t understand that he was more than a pet to me. He was my best friend, who knew when I was sad or stressed. If I cried he would also lick my tears.
He created such a social environment for me. When we would go on our walks, all the neighbors would stop to say hello to him, and we would do our rounds to say hello to everyone. His passing has made me realize that our time here on earth is so precious and not to take anything for granted. I have my moments of peace then I’ll just burst out into tears. I feel life my life has been turned upside down.
We went to Mexico in 2006 and got a flat tire. When we pulled into a tire shop this man came walking out with this tiny dog with huge ears. He sold him to us for 50$ and we brought him back to the states. This dog has also traveled the states with me and i will miss him for forever. Sometimes I lose it because I’m scared that I’ll forget him. Forget how he sounded or smelled, or how he felt when he laid in my arms.
Wow – almost 19 years. Although that’s quite the run, I know it’s never enough time. And when your pet has been a part of your life for so long it is SO HARD to say goodbye. I’m sending prayers for peace your way during this difficult time. I’m so very sorry.
“Fifteen years of unconditional love can never be replaced, but honoring their memory keeps their spirit alive in our hearts.”
absolutely. <3
I lost my 20 year old cat, Kitty yesterday February 22, 2025. I was on vacation when she had a stroke and took the first flight back in hopes to be there for her. She hung on until I made it home. Spent one last night with her and had to put her down the next morning. I was to babysit her over the summer during college and her owners didn’t want her back. She was there through many hearbreaks, moves, and challenging times in my life. I’ve never been so devastated and I just don’t know how I’ll ever get through this. I never had any children of my own and she was my baby, my everything. Funny and demanding and sweet and cuddly. I’m not sure how to get through anything without kitty. Not having her here now is unbearable. I’ve never loved another being as much as I love Kitty.
This is so hard. I’m SO very sorry for your loss. I understand how much pain you’re in right now. Kitty was (and is) so loved. <3 Sending healing prayers your way during this difficult time.
I just had to let my best cat buddy Skye go yesterday (Tuesday, 2/25/2025). We learned last July that he had CKD, and we were able to manage it with medication and fluid therapy for seven months. I gave him meds twice a day, and about 50mL of LRS every other day, and then recently, every day. He then started peeing outside the litter box last week and I noticed it had blood in it. I took him to the vet the next day (they knew my phone number by this point, we’d been there so many times), and we did a urine culture and blood work. I never in my life hoped so much that a pet had an infection, because if he didn’t, it meant it was something much worse. Unfortunately, it was negative. His appetite also started to decline over the weekend and he was even thirstier than normal (which was already a lot). The vet had advised that until we got the results, that I just keep doing what I was doing with his palliative care. On Monday I called the vet asking if they had gotten the results back, and they told me they had emailed them to me. Unfortunately, I have two gmail accounts and if I’m logged into one, I don’t receive notifications for the other, so I didn’t even know I had gotten them already. If I had known on Friday instead of Monday, maybe I could have had him euthanized on Saturday instead of Tuesday. I don’t *think* he was suffering those three extra days – he was peeing in his litter box for the most part, still wanted loads of attention and cuddles (he was seriously THE sweetest, cuddliest cat ever), and went crazy for treats. But I’m still beating myself up about it. I talked to the vet on the phone on Monday night and rattled off everything I was thinking – how he was eating less over the weekend, was already underweight, about 18 years old, probably had near-failure of his kidneys and/or pancreatic tumors by this point (indicated by the bloody urine) – and how putting him through a diagnostic ultrasound didn’t seem beneficial when it was going to tell us what we already knew. I felt like with all things considered, it was finally time. And she said, “It sounds like we’re on the same page,” which I’m so thankful for because I didn’t want to feel like I was quitting on him if there was a chance he could pull through. So, we made the appointment.
I also wonder if I should have found a way to ask our vet to come to our home for it. She’s basically a one-vet practice (but she’s amazing) and is very busy, but I probably should have asked anyway. We were lucky to get him in as quick as we did. I slept downstairs on the couch Monday night so I could be closer to him (I didn’t want him to have to struggle up the stairs), and he did spend almost the entire night with me. I didn’t sleep much. (My husband is wonderful and also slept downstairs to support me.) All Monday night and Tuesday I cuddled him, gave him treats (but not too many, I didn’t want him to get sick), took loads of pictures and videos. He even got to go outside on our way to the car (because I did NOT want to cram him into a carrier on his last day). He always did great at the vet, loved to explore, loved the attention, was totally relaxed, so I don’t *think* he was scared or stressed out. It was kinda hard watching the sedative kick in though because he tried to fight it and walk around, and kept falling. When I finally got him to lay down on the blanket, I laid right next to him on the floor, face-to-face, and talked to him and petted him. So I feel pretty sure I’m the last thing he saw (unless his sight had already gone, I guess I’ll never know). During the injection itself, I was right next to him even though he was sedated, so I don’t know if he could hear me or not but I told him what a good boy he was (the actual BEST cat ever), and gave him so many kisses on his face because he always loved them. I’m hoping I did everything right by him.
I’ve already mourned him several times over the last few months with his disease because he had a few rough patches and I didn’t think he’d make it. You’d think this would have been easier by this point. But before, he always bounced back with meds/fluids. But I dunno, something about it this time told me it was THE time (the negative urine culture, decreasing appetite). And then when my husband and vet both agreed with me this time (before, they used to encourage me that he still had fight left), it seemed like the right thing to do. I opted for euthanasia because I wanted it to happen while I was there with him, and I didn’t want him to suffer for no reason. My biggest fear was that I’d come home after a long day at work (10 hour shifts) and find he had passed away alone in his own urine or something. I wanted his last day to be a good one (or at least as good as his disease allowed), not filled with pain or vomiting or any of the other terrible things that come with CKD. And I *think*, overall, that’s what we had, a good day. My brain tells me I did the right thing, but my heart is second-guessing every detail of the past week, wondering if there’s something I should or could have done better. If I had seen the email sooner, or if I should have thought to ask the vet to come to my house, or…..anything. I briefly almost even thought about cancelling the appointment to get one more day with him, but told myself, “No, this is for him, you don’t want him to suffer or starve to death.” Time went too fast yesterday.
I also feel really terrible because we have another senior cat, Mia, and I wonder if I’ve neglected her these past few months. Taking care of Skye’s disease took so much time, energy, money, and emotional toll. I still paid attention to her of course, but he was my focus. And some part of me almost feels a little bit of resentment towards her for not being snuggly like he was, which is utterly ridiculous because she’s the fluffiest, cutest little munchkin ever. I feel horrible about that, she hasn’t done anything wrong, but she’s not HIM. He was my shadow, my buddy, my 11/10 best boy. He couldn’t WAIT to sit on my lap when I got home every day. He loved to talk, and steal our food. He did this adorable little thing where he looked up at me while he was laying on my lap, and then would kind of flop his head on my chest for attention. She doesn’t do any of those things. Aren’t I awful? I feel like a terrible person for feeling that way. But I do love her, I promise. I cried into her fur today because I felt so terrible about everything.
Anyway, thank you for this article. I’m having so many mixed thoughts and feelings and emotions right now and am just trying to get through it in one piece. He and I both fought this awful disease so hard and it’s not fair that it took him away before his time. I’m so afraid I’m going to forget his many, many different types of meows, or his scent, or the way his fur felt. I really feel like I lost a part of my soul. There’s a Skye-shaped void now and I don’t think it will ever be healed.
Everything you’re going through is so normal after experiencing a pet get sick and then having to say goodbye. I’m SO sorry for your loss. Sending big hugs your way as you grieve. <3
Yesterday was a horrible day. We had to say goodbye to our loving cat Nina after almost 16 years. She wasn’t just a cat.. She was our best friend and always by our side. She was there to comfort and love us every day. The heartbreak is beyond explanation. My daughter was 3 years old when we adopted our Nina as a kitten from a local shelter. We couldn’t believe how lucky we were to have Nina. She was a sister to my daughter. We are just so broken.
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your beloved Nina. I’m sending hugs to you and your family during this difficult time.
I lost my beloved parrot, Turbo, of 20 years back in November 2024. I am truly devastated still. I had him since I was a teenager so he has been with me half of my life. After he hurt himself, I was by his side for the last 6 months of his life around the clock, hoping he would recover. Ultimately, he went home to be with the Lord. I’ve been trying to process his passing as he was not only my best friend, but a child to me. I know that it will take time, but reading this article and seeing others go through this grief helps me not feel alone. Animals are truly a blessing from God and I am so thankful that I was Turbo’s mommy for his entire life. ❤️
I’m so very sorry to hear about your beloved Turbo. Animals really are a blessing – they bring so much joy to our lives. Im sending hugs during this difficult time of grief.
I had to euthanize my 12 year old lab Maddie yesterday morning. She had arthritis in her back legs and had a very difficult time walking. She had cushings disease and was loosing her fur and dropping weight like crazy. I had her on medication but it never seemed to be enough to help. She collapsed on our daily walk and had a seizure. I immediately picked her up and carried her home and called the vet. I knew it was time, even if I was not ready. I would not let her suffer. I’ve worked from home the last 5 years so I’m so glad I got that time one on one with her. I was her main caregiver and with her 24/7. She was by my side constantly. My shadow. The overwhelming sense of grief is so heavy right now. I feel like I’m drowning. Im so brokenhearted and sad and devastated. I just want to know she is okay and knows I loved her and that I miss her terribly. The house is so empty now. I miss my sweet girl.
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved lab, Maddie. Saying goodbye is so hard. I’m sending hugs your way during this difficult time of grief.
I just had to put my sweet boy Melo down 02/28/25, after giving us 14.5 beautiful yrs. I thought I prepared myself mentally because he had oral cancer and the vet told me the stages I had to be aware of and I was wrong. Oh I miss my sweet boy, I’m going through a roller coaster of grief right now, I know I did the right thing because he was in pain but I still had hopes (denial) that he was okay and we were going to celebrate his 15 birthday in July 12.
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of Melo. I understand how painful the roller coaster of grief must feel right now. I don’t really have words of comfort. I’m sending healing prayers your way during this difficult time. <3
We lost our precious and beloved Nuzzle after 13 years of being part of our small family.
He got sick suddenly and died within 36 hours of falling ill. Nuzzle was part of our every routine, a safe and comforting presence in our family of 3. He grew up with our son (now 15 years old) and we feel like we have lost a child. The sudden passing has left a void in our lives that we know no other pet will fill. He was 1 of a kind with his personality. It’s been less than 24 hours and the pain feels heavy and the reality feels unreal.
This is so har. I’m so very sorry. You’re right – life feels absolutely unreal after saying goodbye to your pet. It’s incredibly painful, and I’m sending prayers for peace to you and your family.
I lost my beautiful, sweet, bossy and cranky Maltese Shih Tsu 4 days ago.
The day before we had to say our last goodnight to my girl, she was running around the yard and the house like a little bunny. She was 15.5 years old. I have had her since I was 21, I am about to be 37.
The pain I feel is more than emotion, it’s physical, my chest hurts and my heart aches.
I knew the day would come eventually, and I am so honoured that I got to cradle her in my arms as we said goodnight to her one last time, with her two favourite people touching and kissing her (my mum and my sister – they were her favourites, even though she was my baby)
It just happened so fast, and I don’t know what happened. In a blink of an eye, we had to make the most heart breaking decision.
I am full of guilt, all of the things I should have done more with her, the times I spent worrying about her rather than just cherishing the time we shared together. And now I have the overwhelming concern of “is she ok? Where is she? Is she confused? Is she sad that we didn’t try harder? Is she lost or is she in heaven with our other dogs?)
These questions sadly can’t be answered, and I feel this desperate need to know. I was her Mummy, my role was to protect her – but who is doing that now for my girl?
I hope she knows how loved she was, and I hope so badly that she is safe and somewhere that makes her happy, which is all I ever wanted for her.
Her name was Harby. And she will forever be my soulmate
I’m so very sorry to hear about the loss of your Harby. It’s so hard to say goodbye to a pet that has been with you for such a long time. She knows how loved she was – they ALWAYS know. I’m sending prayers for peace your way during this difficult time.
I lost on the 27.02. 2025 my soul matę my only real friend my little Black companion the rock in my life with only 11 years old to an very agressive cancer in the last 6 weeks of his life l know there was somthing wrong the vet said it will pass and was he eating going to the toilet and gave him pain killers he could no longer jump and his tummy was getting big and hard l then took him to a vet hospital and they told me he had a an extremly agressive cancer and could not be treated he gave him two injections and they would last 3 days after that we should have him put to sleep this l would not do l took him home he went for a little walk but only 20 m he trusted me l talked to him stroked him l hand fed him a little l kissed him telling him all will be ok 21.30 he passed away it broke me .
I’m so very sorry for your loss. Sending hugs during this painful time of grief. <3
We had to help our sweet pup Sandy cross over the rainbow bridge 2 days ago. She was 11years years old and we couldn’t find the right medicine combination to help her live a life free of pain. The vet helped us come to terms with that she gave us 11 good years and now we have to give her the gift of being painfree. Even though we knew the day was coming, we were not prepared for the pain we would endure. She was our first family dog and we watched her be a constant companion to our child while she was growing up. We are just heartbroken and never imagined losing our sweet girl would cause so much grief. We feel so lost without her around.
I am so sorry to hear about your beloved Sandy. I understand how lost and heartbroken you must feel. The first few days and weeks are completely surreal, and I”m sending hugs your way during this very difficult time.
I recently received news of my dog of 10 years (my first dog ever, mind you) has cancer and he has about a month. I am absolutely heartbroken and he’s not even gone yet, but I know it is approaching. I feel so stuck and it is hard to talk about it with people because I feel like they are judging me for being so upset about it. No one has actually said anything to make me feel that way, I think that’s just me feeling that way. It’s so painful and shocking because he appears so normal and is just like his normal self. Anyways, I am heartbroken and found this page in my research about grieving pet loss.
Oh goodness, going through this kind of anticipatory grief, knowing that a goodbye is coming but not knowing when, is truly so difficult. It’s like being in a state of limbo and comes with a lot of sadness and anxiety. I really feel for you during this time. Feeling heartbroken makes perfect sense. I hope you’re able to get some good quality time in with your dog, and I’m sending you prayers right now. <3
At thirteen and a half years old, we lost our beloved Didi Bear on Saturday. He was a Texas-born and Texas-sized yellow lab–the cutest we’ve ever seen. Didi loved to swim, catch the ball in the water, and play the outfielder in our baseball games. He was extremeley good natured and over-exubrant to meet anyone new; to Didi, every new acquaintance was a new friend. He also had a naughty and playful side: he would position himself in the doorway to our bedroom and bark to call us to bed at 10:30 p.m. When he felt he wasn’t getting enough attention, he would grab something from our dirty laundry (often a pair of underwear), run into the room with it dangling from his mouth and stare at us–daring us to do something!
As he aged, his arthritis gave him pain and decreased his mobility. About a year ago, the vet diagnosed him with laryngeal paralysis and he would huff and puff, even on a short walk. On Saturday morning, he was sniffing around in our front yard and admiring our new plantings, doing his business right on top of a newly planted Kangaroo Paw plant! When we returned from a short errand that afternoon, he asked to go in the back yard, and then collapsed there struggling to breath and unable to get up. We rushed him to the emergency vet and they thought they’d stabalized him–we let him stay a few hours to recover and returned that night expecting to take him home. It was then that we learned that he was not improving as expected and the doctor told us she’d run out of treatment options and recommened euthenasia. We were devastated that he couldn’t return home with us. He was heavily sedated and looked just like he always did in a deep sleep, with his droopy eyes relaxed. We hoped he would open his eyes to us and we’d see his happy look of recognition on his face. Instead, we had to make the unbearable decision to let him go, right there in that cold, clinical exam room at the emergency veterinary hospital. It was not the end that we had imagined or hoped for him.
The next day my husband awoke from a nightmare in which Didi was desperately searching for us in a dark veterinary office. It is so difficult to accept that he is not with us anymore; our home feels empty and lifeless without him here. It both warms and breaks our hearts to go through our thousands of photos of our fur baby and see how in almost every one of those, Didi is beaming with joy and happiness. You rarely see that kind of genuine happy smile in human. He brought that joy and light into our lives, our home, and our family. It hard to imagine how we’ll ever feel that again, when he is not with us. No matter where we are in our home or out and about a paw print, a smudged sliding glass door, a sudden memory or another trigger will make us feel like he’s there, somewhere sniffing around and waiting to greet us.
We had to put my sweet dog down on March 17th, 2025 and I am so lost and feel so meaningless without her.
Ferny was my pride and joy and my stress reliever. And I didn’t realize this until she was gone but I feel like she was my soul mate. We understood each other at the soul level. When I first met her she was a skinny little thing that wandered up to our house. I was 12 years old I think. She was so adorable and small and curious, and I formed an immediate strong connection with her without even knowing it. And as we were trying to find her a home I would cry that she had to go. And then one day my parents told us that we were keeping her. I think they saw how strong our connection was that they decided to adopt her even after we already had two dogs. I remember all my siblings and I ran outside cheering and screaming to hug Fern and play with her. We named her Fern from “Where the Red Fern Grows” because she was a mixed Red-Bone Coon Hound like in the movie and book that I fell in love with even before I met her. And then 10 times more so when Ferny was mine. And one year for my birthday my parents got me overalls and a real raccoon hat like Billy Coleman wears in the movie. I walked around in my new outfit, barefoot with Ferny by my side. We must have looked liked we walked right out of that book.
She was perfect. It is as if we were created together, for each other. She has always had a very strong connection with me to the point that everyone around me can see it. She used to love to run around the yard with me. When she was younger she was feisty and would try to bite me and my siblings because she is a crazy wild girl. But we all thought it was funny and would make videos with her pretending she was a wild animal we had encountered in the Australian bush. And looking back a home videos with her in it, you can see her follow me around where I go, even when I didn’t notice.
She had very large, soft ears that I would always kiss. She has always felt very warm and one time when it snowed I would hug her and she warmed me up like a heater. She also loved playing in the snow recently and I made a little video of clips of her enjoying it. She also loves to stand in the pool and blow bubbles in the water. My favorite thing about her is that she would turn her head when she was curious.
Ever since we got her I feel like I have been preparing myself for when she dies. She would always get out of our yard and I was worried she would get hit by a car. She also had and accident where she couldn’t move her back legs and I was terrified that we might have to put her down then. And there was another time when she fell into the pool and a neighbor heard her barking and told us. I ran outside to find her clinging on to the side of the pool. She had tried to climb out with her back legs to the point that she ground down the nails on her back feet and they were bleeding.
She has always been so protective of me and my family. Whenever she sees someone walking by our fence she always would bark at them until they left. She also developed a cyst on her paw and she had to have surgery to drain it. But while it was healing she had to stay inside. I loved having her in the house and seeing her all the time. She was so cute with her little socked paw and her cone just sitting by the hearth wagging her tail. She would wag her tail so hard she would leave bruises where it hit. She was such a happy, joyful girl. I also loved it when I came home and she would run up to me and I would get really excited, having forgotten that she was inside. She would also follow people into the kitchen, with her nails clicking on the floor as she looked up at them and watched them cook. And everyone was a bit sad when she had to go back outside again.
She would always get in the pool in the morning and threw out the day. She also loved baseballs and I still have one that she shredded after I used it in a photography project. I’m glad I have that. She also loved really big sticks, the bigger the better. She would find the largest and most cumbersome ones to impress everyone as she dragged it around. And on a recent trip I brought back a really nice stick for her. She was so incredibly smart and clever. Every time we tried to give her a pill to swallow she would also figure it out and eat the treat it was wrapped in and spit out the pill. Wrapping it in ham is the only way she will take pills. (Actually towards the end she figured that out too, and in her last days she refused to eat ham. Even if there were no pills in it at all, she’d still spit it out.)
A few months ago when I started to get into perfumes I realized that I wanted to have her scent. So I collected her fur and a cloth that I rubbed on her head and keep them in a jar and every time I open it I can smell her scent. I also have one of her baby teeth and some of her red fur.
She has two other dogs as siblings and they do everything together. And she would always hog the heater in the cold months. She sometimes sleeps with her tongue sticking out. I also remember how at night after my parents tucked us in bed I would open our door that led onto the deck and she would come into our room and I would play with her and she would jump up on my bed. She was so cute in there and I loved having her in there. And in the mornings I would open the curtains and she would be there, laying in the sun and looking at me in the window.
Paige, thank you so much for what you’ve written. And reading through the comments left me feeling the same way as so many others. I am especially glad to be able to identify why the death of my recent cat hurts more than other pets or people.
I adopted Muggs when he was about one year old. And for the next 17 years, he was my companion. I made the difficult decision to euthanize him on 3/19/25. Like so many others, I wrestle with different guilt feelings about whether I waited too long or whether or if I should have given more time with Muggs’ seeming will to live. I also wrestle with how much pain this stoic cat may have been in.
He used to be an overweight cat, but in the end he was literally wasting away. Methimazole was no longer working. I honestly cannot be sure how he was still able to jump up and down on the bed (sometimes the down wasn’t so pretty). But in the last two months, adding to the years of underlying issues (bad teeth, hyperthyroidism, beginning kidney disease, arthritis) he developed high blood pressure (possibly related to the unregulated thyroid), maybe stroked a couple times affecting his mobility in spurts, then started having seizures! Yet he was eating, drinking, using the litter box, keeping his fur neat, and wanting our attention. Not knowing for sure, I let him go outside before our last trip to the pet hospital. Other than being a bit wobbly, he looked so alive and happy. He once was an indoor/outdoor cat but had been strictly an indoor cat for the last five years. I’m so glad he got to experience the grass and sunshine one last time . . . and, oh, the loud purring 🙂
I don’t have social media to check out your support groups, but it’s tempting to make an account! Thank you for letting all of us post our story so that, in some way, our pet can live on for as long as you have your site up. Thank you again.
Muggs, Muggsy, Muggs-a-Rama, Mr. Muggs, My Baby Boy will be remembered for a lot of his younger quirks and habits, for always cuddling on me, and for being the muse/inspiration for storytelling and songs . . . and for being so incredibly handsome! At 18 years old, he indeed had a good run.
I’m so very sorry to hear about Muggs.I understand how hard it is to say goodbye, especially after having a pet for such a long time. It’s a very special kind of bond. And it’s so hard to be in the situation you were – not knowing what to do when they start fading. But you made the right choice. The hardest and saddest choice in these scenarios is the right one. I’m sending big hugs your way. Also, no need to join social media – the Furever Forest is its own separate platform! I’ll link it here. We’d love to have you in our community. https://furever-forest.mn.co/share/bRAD7NIO6CYA0gWS?utm_source=manual
I am losing the battle of cancer with my beautiful boy Seis. He is 18 year old Maine Coon, Hemingway…I am lost. I have had him since he was a kitten, saved him from a fire in my home. I went back in the house while it was on fire to get my family, pets out… left only with the clothes on my back. He has been with me through all of my life’s ups and downs. I am beside myself, the cancer has not spread yet from his poor amputated tail, when he and his sister Lyla got hit by a drunk driver. He survived, now having cancer where his tail was amputated. I love him so….. so lost.
Truly
Chris Jackowski
Today, I lost my dog of 11 years, Pearl. She passed unexpectedly while I was at work. She laid next to my mom and let go. I am broken, I lost a part of myself. She was my rock through so many hurdles in life. Waking up tomorrow doesn’t feel possible. I feel grief for my best friend. I feel angry for not being there with her in her final moments, or not making what would be my last moment with her meaningful. I feel isolated, like I am carrying my grief alone. I feel depressed, nothing gives me joy, all I can think about is that she is gone. I’ve never felt pain like this before and I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I will try for her, because I know she loved me and would not want to see me broken. I love you Pearl, thank you for becoming part of who I am and for loving me. Thank you Paige, for teaching me that what I am feeling now is okay and that with time, I will be okay.