How To Connect With Yourself Like A Therapist

self connection

If you want to get better at taking care of yourself, try starting with self-connection.

Because self-connection is at the root of real self-care. It’s what leads you on the path to deeper meaning and a more fulfilling life.

Allow me to explain.

When you think about the concept of “self-care,” I’m sure a lot of ideas come to mind. Things like bubble baths. A skincare routine. Going to the gym.

But the idea of self-connection is a bit harder to put into words. And do you know why?

1. It’s not a high priority in our society.

Over 74,000 people search “self-care” in google each month.

Can you guess how many search “self-connection?”

Less than 200.

Self-connection has simply fallen by the wayside in our world. It doesn’t hold as much value as, say, working 60+ hours a week, buying the latest designer handbag, or obtaining a certain number of followers on social media.

2. Self-connection is not sold to you by advertisers. 

You aren’t being inundated with images of self-connection through the Instagram algorithm. If you were, you’d probably spend a lot less time using the app in the first place. Which wouldn’t be great for their bottom line.

Because when you connect with yourself, you will probably discover that putting down your phone makes you feel more alive. And that spending your hard earned money on “things” might check the self-care box temporarily, but not likely to bring long-term satisfaction.

3. You can’t buy self-connection; you have to experience it. 

Sure, you can invest in therapy, which provides a safe space for you to connect more deeply with yourself. But at the end of the day, self-connection takes energy. YOUR energy. And it’s a gift that only you can give to your self.

It’s the “why” underneath self-care. It’s paying attention to your mind, body, and spirit, instead of living your day-to-day on autopilot.

When you are connected to yourself, you don’t practice self-care, you embody it by:

  • Understanding that a “bubble bath” feels good because you’re making time to relax.
  • Being gentle with yourself in recognizing that your “skincare routine” is driven by unrealistic beauty standards.
  • Turning “going to the gym” into doing what feels good in your body.

And look, I’m not saying that you should throw away your self-care routine. Or that you should stop buying bath products that spark joy.

They are all pieces of your holistic health puzzle.

But self-connection is what the puzzle is about.

It’s the image on the box. And you need it to figure out how the pieces fit together.  

Self-connection is what makes you whole.

So you may be wondering, how can I start to feel more connected to myself?

Here are some ideas to start:

1. Take Time To Reflect

All it takes to feel more connected to yourself is setting aside time to process and reflect. You can do so by going to therapy, chatting with a friend, or even by spending time with yourself.

2. Journal

One of my favorite activities for self-connection, especially in the morning, is sitting down with my notebook and pen and seeing what flows out of me. If you want some guidance on how to start journaling for your mental health, check out this post, or download my 30 days of journal prompts.

3. Check In With Your Feelings

Acknowledging how you feel is one of the most powerful ways you can connect with yourself. Because your emotions are an integral part of you, and they contain valuable information. You must allow yourself to experience your feelings if you want to understand what they are trying to tell you.

So how are you feeling, really?

And if you struggle to answer that question or feel overwhelmed by your emotions, check out my Feelings Guide.

4. Put Your Phone Away

I would argue that the more time you spend on your phone, the more disconnected you’re going to feel from yourself. It was made to distract you. Give yourself a digital detox, and if you don’t know what to do with yourself, remember these words from my final tip…

5. Creation Over Consumption

When you consume, you’re ingesting the work of others (which of course, isn’t always a bad thing!). But when you create, you’re unleashing parts of yourself that are yearning to be seen. When you want to connect with yourself, engage in activities that bring creativity into your life. You can try anything from painting to baking, to dancing or knitting, singing, writing, and beyond.

So tell me – did anything from this post resonate? Let me know if you gained any insights about self-care and self-connection. And please share what makes you feel most connected to yourself.

If you enjoyed this article, check out Creating Moments Of Joy Is Better Than Being Happy, or How To Love Yourself: Try Being Okay With Yourself First.

Hi! I'm Paige

Cat Lover, Real Person, and LGBTQIA+ Friendly Psychotherapist in NYC 🌈

therapist williamsburg brooklyn

E-mail me at  if  you have a question you would like me to answer on my therapy blog.

Journal for your mental health

Get the most out of your journaling with my free guide + 30 days of prompts.

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