It is a rainy day in Brooklyn. I am sitting at my kitchen table, drinking an iced coffee, listening to Taylor Swift’s brand new album, Folklore, on repeat. It was unexpectedly released last night, and I have now found myself, unexpectedly, overwhelmed by emotions.
Taylor Swift has obviously become an incredible force in our culture. But I don’t think it’s because she creates catchy tunes.
I believe it’s because she has the ability to relate to people on a deep emotional level.
She always seems to know how we feel! And expresses it in a way that resonates. She totally gets it, and apparently, has been there too.
Did you know if you’re feeling depressed, listening to sad music can actually help you feel better? And by better, I mean… seen. Because when we feel seen, it can help us feel more connected and validated. So even though we’re sad, we feel less alone in it.
And that’s what Taylor Swift does. Her lyrics help you feel less alone in what you’re going through.
And if you pay attention, you’ll find that Taylor Swift’s music offers up a lot of valuable lessons on how to navigate our feelings in a healthy way.
Below is a list of what I think are the best Taylor Swift songs to better cope with feelings. I’ve also included lyrics and emotions that may be evoked when listening to each song.
1. There Is Strength In Vulnerability
It’s okay to not be okay. What most people don’t realize is how helpful it can be to give yourself time and space to not be okay, and feel those uncomfortable emotions as you move through them.
And when you’re not okay, sharing that with someone can feel incredibly vulnerable, but it is also an act of bravery.
Talking with someone about what is really going on for you – whether a friend, a therapist, a parent, or heck, even a reddit forum – can create deeper connections and also provide tremendous relief.
And the more we share what we are feeling authentically, the more we reduce stigma around mental health.
Song: All Too Well
Lyric: “And I might be okay but I’m not fine at all.”
Emotions: nostalgic, angry, lonely, betrayed, sad
For more lessons from the 10-minute version of All Too Well, click here!
2. The Way You Feel About Things Can Change Over Time
Think about who you were and what you stood for 5 years ago, 10 years ago, even 15 years ago.
Maybe you didn’t know how to handle that breakup gracefully, because you were overwhelmed by your emotions at the time.
Maybe you regret some of the choices you made, because you didn’t have the self-awareness you do now.
Which means a few years from now, it’s very possible that you’ll look back at whatever it is you’re going through currently and see how far you’ve come.
We are all works in progress.
More often than not, we do the best we can with what we know at the time. Accept responsibility, be kind to yourself, and remember there is always room to grow.
Song: Fifteen
Lyric: “I’ve found time can heal most anything, and you just might find who you’re supposed to be, I didn’t know who I was supposed to be, at fifteen.”
Emotions: reminiscent, frustrated, embarrassed, wise, self-awareness
3. Words Aren’t the Only Way to Express Yourself
When you have gone through something traumatic, the experience and the way you feel about it can often be too difficult to put into words.
Talking about it can feel too scary or painful, and that’s okay. There are many other ways to express yourself that can still provide relief and healing. One of my favorites, is art.
Whether we are creating our own art, or immersing ourselves in others’ creations, art has the ability to evoke emotional responses within us that can oftentimes resonate more powerfully than words. Art has a transcendental quality that can heal us deeply.
We are all artists, and we all have the ability to express how we feel through imagery, movement, collages, music, poetry, etc. The process of creating in and of itself is nourishing for our souls. I highly recommend you give it a try.
Song: Epiphany
Lyric: “And some things you just can’t speak about.”
Emotions: lost, hurt, pensive, impatient, scared
4. Many Emotions Can Exist At Once
Ever felt like you were happy for a friend for getting a promotion, but at the same time, felt sad for yourself for feeling stuck? Or maybe you’re grateful for all that you have, but then feel guilty because you also want more?
We live in a world that teaches us to see things as black or white, all or nothing, when in reality there are endless shades of gray. Luckily you can create a space within you that acknowledges all of your emotions all at once, even if they seem contradictory.
And if you often feel overwhelmed by your emotions, download my Feelings Guide so they no longer hold you hostage.
Song: 22
Lyric: “We’re happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time. It’s miserable and magical.”
Emotions: present, adventurous, hopeful, confused, energized
5. Knowing When To Let Things Go Is An Important Life Skill
Caring about what people think is not uncommon. Almost everyone I work with in therapy has a fear that others are judging them for their choices.
***IMPORTANT REMINDER: No one is thinking about you as much as you think they are.***
But even if the worst case scenario is true, and someone is judging you for the choices you make – so what? You have absolutely no control over what others think. Are you going to let that stop you from living your life?
Learning to shake it off takes PRACTICE. And the more you practice, the more your brain gets used to learning how to let things go.
I find karaoke-ing at the top of your lungs to this song is good strength training. 😉
Song: Shake It Off
Lyric: “It’s like I got this music in my mind sayin’ it’s gonna be alright.”
Emotions: optimistic, silly, sarcastic, free, confident
6. Always Remember To Breathe
This song does such a perfect job of encapsulating how difficult it is to go through a tough time. To experience loss. To feel sad.
It validates the intensity of that kind of experience, which is healing in and of itself. But it also reminds you that when you are overwhelmed with emotion or worried about the future, all you can really do is breathe.
Because even if you think you can’t go through the pain, or you’ll never feel better, this song reminds you that even in the darkest of times, one fact remains: You’re still somehow managing to survive.
I’m not saying it’s easy – it’s actually incredibly challenging. But learning to breathe through sadness, anger, anxiety and grief has a cathartic quality in the short term. And, it can help a person to better manage their emotions and connect to themselves in the long term.
Song: Breathe
Lyric: “And I can’t breathe without you, but I have to.”
Emotions: despair, confusion, grief-stricken, yearning, brave
7. Honor Your Strengths
Each and every one of us (including you!) has a unique essence that makes us who we are. And it’s so important for our mental health to be able to tap into that essence, and actually like what we see.
Sometimes, that essence gets buried under societal expectations, familial and social obligations, your fears of what others might think, etc. And when you lose sight of your authentic self, it can cause you to feel trapped by stress and anxiety.
Being who you are meant to be in this world is freeing. It means doing what you want to do with your life, living your truth, and enjoying your own company.
Finding your way back to your core and expressing that most authentic version of yourself – the good, the bad, and everything in between – is a lifelong practice that is worth cultivating (and you can start by understanding your values). Thank you Taylor Swift, for encouraging us to celebrate our uniqueness!
Song: ME
Lyric: “I’m the only one of me, baby that’s the fun of me!”
Emotions: confident, secure, creative, proud, eccentric
8. It’s Natural To Want To Love And Be Loved
The first time I saw Taylor Swift play Love Story live, I was transported to a fairytale wonderland full of magic, hope, and happy endings.
Never in my life did I dream that I could feel so much love pouring out of a stadium full of strangers. It was a moment of pure, wholehearted human connection; a moment where each and every one of us felt safe enough to admit, by shouting at the top of our lungs, that we still yearn and have hope for our own happy endings.
Of course I need to acknowledge that life is not a fairy tale. And that we live in a heteronormative and patriarchal society that brainwashes women from a very young age into thinking that marrying a man is everything they could ever need to feel fulfilled.
But there is another perspective here. Which is that Taylor Swift’s music demonstrates the very human desire to be loved and accepted, not just by a partner, but by family members, loved ones, and within your community.
Song: Love Story
Lyric: You’ll never have to be alone, I love you, and that’s all I really know
Emotions: lustful, happy, determined, hopeful, overwhelmed
9. You’re More Resilient Than You Know
Guess what? You are a human being, which means you’re going to experience challenges. You’re going to experience disappointment, rejections, sadness, and pain. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory.
And, if you are a human being, that means you’re inherently resilient. You already have everything you need inside of you to survive. Luckily, that also comes with the territory.
At the end of the day, the person you can depend on the most is yourself. You also have no control over anyone but yourself. How you live your life is completely up to you. I know it’s a difficult concept to grapple with. But you once you accept this fact, it’s quite empowering. And believe, me, you have it in you.
No one is going to create the life you want for yourself – you have to be the one to put yourself out there and do it. So make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it, you’ve got no reason to be afraid. 😉
Song: You’re On Your Own Kid
Lyric: “Yea you can face this, you’re on your own kid, and you always have been.”
Emotions: competent, strong, invigorated, independent, realistic
10. You Can Make Meaning Out Of Hardship
No, not everything happens for a reason. Difficult life experiences like a trauma or a death or a breakup do not always make sense. When bad things happen to you, it’s not always for the best. There have been plenty of things that happened in my life that were agonizing. And if I could go back in time and have them NOT happen, I would.
However, time turners don’t exist for us muggles.
All you can do when life brings hardship is to try, when you’re ready, to come from a place of “making meaning.” Doing this empowers you to expand your capacity to grow from your experiences. And perhaps empower others along the way. This approach is less about what happened to you, more about how you choose to move forward from things that are beyond your control. Again… when you’re ready.
Taylor Swift is the Queen of Making Meaning. She has taken her life experiences and transformed them into manuscripts for us all to relate to and learn from. And when you focus on making meaning, you will one day be able to look back at the most painful chapters of your life and see how far you’ve come.
Song: The Manuscript
Lyric: And at last, she knew what the agony had been for
Emotions: accepting, mature, empowered, relieved, patient
If you enjoyed this article, please like and share it below!
And leave a comment – which Taylor Swift song makes you feel the most emotional?
Did any leave you with new insights about yourself? If so, please share below!
And, don’t forget to check out what I think are The Top 10 Taylor Swift Songs For Healing, and Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce: More Heroine’s Journey Than Love Story.
