There are endless reasons as to why many people feel anxious around the holidays.
Maybe you are stuck being around relatives who have very different beliefs than you do, and having conversations with them brings up feelings of hopelessness, frustration, and even rage.
Or you could have a bit too much time off of work, and don’t know what you’re going to do with all of that freedom and stillness.
If you’ve lost someone close to you, it’s common for feelings of sadness and grief to come up around the holidays. This doesn’t just include losing someone who’s died; if you’ve gone through a breakup, a move away from friends/family, or are simply without a significant other, the holidays can create very intense feelings of loneliness.
Whatever you might be experiencing this holiday season, I invite you to let those feelings exist without judging yourself for them. I’ve also put together a few ideas that may help you to move through this season with a bit more inner peace.
1. Give Back
One of the most powerful ways you can alleviate feelings of sadness around the holidays is to do something kind for someone in need. This could be as simple as contributing to your workplace toy donation box, or as immersive as volunteering to feed the homeless. You can even find a charity that will provide real wish lists from children who would otherwise go without anything around the holidays. Studies have shown that when people put energy towards helping others, activity in the amygdala is lowered (AKA stress levels go down).
2. Be Mindful of Social Media Usage
This is something to remember all year round, but because many people have so much downtime around the holidays, it’s easier to get sucked into the social media vortex of scrolling aimlessly forever. Try to be extra mindful of your usage around this time of year by putting your phone in a drawer, setting a time limit on your apps, or being very intentional about doing other things. Which brings me to….
3. Let Your Inner Child Come Out
What were the holidays like for you as a kid? Did this time of year feel magical? Did you get excited about seeing all of the Christmas lights, or baking cookies, or lighting the menorah? Even if you’re not religious, or the holidays have always been a tough time of year for you, what did you like to do as a kid in general? Play with arts and crafts? Explore the woods? Read books? Take some time to do those things that used to bring you joy when you were younger.
4. Create Boundaries
Holiday time usually involves family time, and family time can usually lead to doing things you don’t want to do, being with people you don’t want to be with, and buying gifts for people you don’t want to spend money on.
It can be helpful to take some time reflecting in advance on how you want to set boundaries this year, and planning out what you might say to communicate those boundaries. Simple statements such as:
“I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
“Unfortunately, we won’t be able to make it this year.”
“No thank you, I don’t want to do that.”
Remember that you have the right to decide what you will and will not do. And please remember that the way a person reacts to your choices is about them, not you.
5. Visit Your Happy Place
I keep a collection of “happy places” in my mind to help me stay centered during challenging times, when I feel overwhelmed, or down on myself about something. A lot of these places involve nature, and invoke feelings of calm, gratitude, spaciousness, etc. I take time to really absorb the moment and pay attention to how clear and light I feel when I’m actually in a place like this, so I can come back to it in my mind. What is a happy place you can go to in your mind to feel more cool, calm, and collected? (For me, it’s laying on the beach in Costa Rica, biking through the forest in Amsterdam, even snuggling with my cat). Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and experience the scene with all of your senses.
6. Practice Self-Compassion
Self-awareness breeds self-compassion. Take time throughout the holidays to check in with how you’re feeling. Experience the sensations in your body, and reflect on what those sensations are trying to tell you, without judgement. When those sensations feel overwhelming, it’s okay to take a break from family, write in a journal, find a safe space to feel sad, go for a walk, call a friend and vent, etc. Do what you have to do to take care of yourself.
Did any of these ideas resonate with you? If so, let me know which one you plan to try out by leaving a comment, or getting in touch. My hope for you is that you are able to experience at least a few moments of joy this holiday season.